Doggie Bag

Back since time immamoral. - Archie Bunker

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

No man is rich enough to buy back his past. - Oscar Wilde

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

Do you think I could buy back my introduction to you? - Groucho Marx

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do. - Phyllis Diller

Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back. - Paul Erdos

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman

When somebody challenges you, fight back. Be brutal, be tough. - Donald Trump

Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to people better than you are. - John G. Pollard

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

It's good to see you. It means you're not behind my back. - Henny Youngman

Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't. Some can't. - Unknown

He could shake your hand and stab you in the back at the same time. - Richard Nixon

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

Forgive your enemies - if you can't get back at them any other way. - Franklin P. Jones

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

Fashion's not about looking back. It's always about looking forward. - Anna Wintour

I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back. - Steven Wright

To be able to look back upon one's life in satisfaction, is to live twice. - Kahlil Gibran

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

Confidence is like a dragon where, for every head cut off, two more heads grow back. - Criss Jami

The affection you get back from children is sixpence given as change for a sovereign. - Edith Nesbit

There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class. - David Coleman

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

I often sit back and think, I wish I'd done that and find out later that I already have. - Richard Harris

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

Irish boomerang: It doesn't come back, it just sings sad songs about how much it wants to. - Unknown

If you have zest and enthusiasm, you attract zest and enthusiasm. Life does give back in kind. - Norman Vincent Peale

Let Wall Street have a nightmare and the whole country has to help get them back in bed again. - Will Rogers

Assume any career move you make won't go smoothly. They won't. But don't look back. - Andy Grove

Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th. - David Letterman

It's better to fall from a tree and break your back than to fall in love and break your heart. - African Proverb

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got. - WC Fields

For every minute you are angry with someone, you lose 60 seconds of happiness that you can never get back. - Unknown

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Our memories are card indexes consulted, and then put back in disorder, by authorities whom we do not control. - Cyril Connolly

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

If you're going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now. - Marie Osmond

You can't just carry everyone else's hopes and fears around in your backpack and expect to stand up straight. - David Kirk

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. - Mark Twain

There's an upside to grandparenthood. You play, you give, you love, then you hand them back and go to an early movie. - Billy Crystal

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past, but by the love we're not extending in the present. - Marianne Williamson

What do you do with all your pennies? I give them away. It's good to spread your luck around and it always come back to you. - Fannie Flagg

Look out how you use proud words. When you let proud words go, it is not easy to call them back. They wear long boots, hard boots. - Carl Sandburg

The Obama representatives like Robert Gibbs attack people viciously, but people like me will not be silent and will answer them back. - Donald Trump

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can't change. After I die, I'll probably come back as a paintbrush. - Sylvester Stallone

The other day I dreamed that I was at the gates of heaven.
And Saint Peter said, "Go back to Earth. There are no slums up here." - Mother Teresa

I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single. - Tiny Tim

It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about nowadays saying things against one, behind one's back, that are absolutely and entirely true. - Oscar Wilde

I've never been able to grow an organ back," Lana said. "Last time I tried... Let's just hope you don't end up with whip eyes. - Michael Grant