Doggie Bag

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

Lassitude: A heroic dog with attitude - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I remixed a remix. It was back to normal. - Mitch Hedberg

Quinctilius Varus, give me back my legions. - Augustus

Life looks better from the back of a horse. - Unknown

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb

Back-Up: Recommended if you meet a skunk in the woods - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

Elastic Band: An old rock group that keeps bouncing back - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back. - Bob Hope

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

I have found that if you love life, life will love you back. - Arthur Rubinstein

Dogs come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts. - Unknown

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's good to see you. It means you're not behind my back. - Henny Youngman

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. - Oscar Wilde

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown

A philanthropist is a man who gives away what he should be giving back. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams

The idea of dying and coming back is what makes the Halloween films work. - Donald Pleasence

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head. - Steven Wright

He writes so well he makes me feel like putting the quill back in the goose. - Fred Allen

Go back to the abyss! Fall into nothingness that awaits you and your master! - JRR Tolkien

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings

I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back. - Steven Wright

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

Even when the world throws its worst and then turns its back, there is still hope. - Pittacus Lore

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class. - David Coleman

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

Play for the name on the front of the shirt and they'll remember the name on the back. - Unknown

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

Everyone has ancestors and it is only a question of going back far enough to find a good one. - Howard K. Nixon

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety. - Abraham Maslow

Assume any career move you make won't go smoothly. They won't. But don't look back. - Andy Grove

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

The everyday kindness of the back roads more than makes up for the acts of greed in the headlines. - Charles Kuralt

Years ago, I predicted that Iran would take over Iraq. Iran and Iraq used to fight back and forth. - Donald Trump

The mission of the artist in an over-technologized society, is to call the old magic back to life. - Tom Robbins

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes the circle and comes back to us. - Flora Edwards

You can't just carry everyone else's hopes and fears around in your backpack and expect to stand up straight. - David Kirk

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them. - H L Mencken

What do you do with all your pennies? I give them away. It's good to spread your luck around and it always come back to you. - Fannie Flagg

When you wake up in the morning, you have two choices: go back to sleep and dream your dreams, or wake up and chase those dreams. - Unknown

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to throw something back. - Maya Angelou

The Obama representatives like Robert Gibbs attack people viciously, but people like me will not be silent and will answer them back. - Donald Trump

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

To win back my youth... There is nothing I wouldn't do - except take exercise, get up early, or be a useful member of the community. - Oscar Wilde

Lookin' back all I can say about all the things he did for me is I hope I'm at least half the dad that he didn't have to be. - Brad Paisley

Our pathways often twist through stormy landscapes; but when we look back, we'll see a thousand miles of miracles and answered prayers. - David Jeremiah

Perhaps someday I'll crawl back home, beaten, defeated. But not as long as I can make stories out of my heartbreak, beauty out of sorrow. - Sylvia Plath

I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single. - Tiny Tim

So many bad things have happened to them that they can't trust the good things. They have to shove them away before someone can get it back. - Wally Lamb

When I came back to Dublin, I was courtmartialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan