Joe-ks.com
#1 humor site on the 'net
Dog Tired After Work
Some days just aren't long enough
Alfred the Great used to send his sons out with his hunting dogs
Dog tired is an old English phrase meaning to be physically exhausted. It's derived from an old tale of Alfred the Great who used to send his sons out with his kennels of hunting dogs. Whichever of his sons (Athelbrod or Edwin) were able to catch more of the hounds would gain their father's right hand side at the dinner table that evening. These chases would leave them 'dog-tired”' yet merry at their victory. (Wiktionary)
Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown
What isn't tried won't work. - Claude McDonald
Work is the curse of the drinking class. - Oscar Wilde
He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller
I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job. - Zig Ziglar
From each according to his ability, to each according to his work - Claude de Rouvroy
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores
It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump
Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out. - John Wooden
The best work is not what is most difficult for you; it is what you do best. - Jean-Paul Sartre
Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret
The moment you think you understand a great work of art, it's dead for you. - Oscar Wilde
I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine
Blessed is he who has found his life's work; let him ask no other blessedness. - Thomas Carlyle
Do not hire a man who does your work for money, but him who does it for love of it. - Henry David Thoreau
If a man smiles all the time he's probably selling something that doesn't work. - George Carlin
Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley
Fears work into the mind like maggots in a corpse; they fester and boil and work to no good. - David C. Smith & Richard L. Tierney
Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit. - R.E. Shay
There's nothing you've ever been successful at that you didn't work on every day. - Will Smith
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein
Playing Shakespeare is so tiring. You never get a chance to sit down unless you're a king. - Josephine Hull
The surest way to establish your credit is to work yourself into the position of not needing any. - Maurice Switzer
Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love, to work, to play and to look up at the stars. - Henry van Dyke
He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears but by diligent hard work, he overcame them. - James Reston
Work like you don't need the money, dance like no one is watching, and love like you've never been hurt. - Mark Twain
What's a good investment? Go home from work early and spend the afternoon throwing a ball around with your son. - Ben Stein
People who work crossword puzzles know that if they stop making progress, they should put the puzzle down for a while. - Marilyn vos Savant
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. - Robert Orben
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner
I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule
The road to success is not easy to navigate, but with hard work, drive and passion, it's possible to achieve the American dream. - Tommy Hilfiger
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain
The essential element in personal magnetism is a consuming sincerity - an overwhelming faith in the importance of the work one has to do. - Bruce Barton
To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay
Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin
If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown
What isn't tried won't work. - Claude McDonald
Work is the curse of the drinking class. - Oscar Wilde
He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller
I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job. - Zig Ziglar
From each according to his ability, to each according to his work - Claude de Rouvroy
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores
It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump
Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out. - John Wooden
The best work is not what is most difficult for you; it is what you do best. - Jean-Paul Sartre
Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret
The moment you think you understand a great work of art, it's dead for you. - Oscar Wilde
I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine
Blessed is he who has found his life's work; let him ask no other blessedness. - Thomas Carlyle
Do not hire a man who does your work for money, but him who does it for love of it. - Henry David Thoreau
If a man smiles all the time he's probably selling something that doesn't work. - George Carlin
Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley
Fears work into the mind like maggots in a corpse; they fester and boil and work to no good. - David C. Smith & Richard L. Tierney
Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit. - R.E. Shay
There's nothing you've ever been successful at that you didn't work on every day. - Will Smith
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein
Playing Shakespeare is so tiring. You never get a chance to sit down unless you're a king. - Josephine Hull
The surest way to establish your credit is to work yourself into the position of not needing any. - Maurice Switzer
Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love, to work, to play and to look up at the stars. - Henry van Dyke
He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears but by diligent hard work, he overcame them. - James Reston
Work like you don't need the money, dance like no one is watching, and love like you've never been hurt. - Mark Twain
What's a good investment? Go home from work early and spend the afternoon throwing a ball around with your son. - Ben Stein
People who work crossword puzzles know that if they stop making progress, they should put the puzzle down for a while. - Marilyn vos Savant
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. - Robert Orben
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner
I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule
The road to success is not easy to navigate, but with hard work, drive and passion, it's possible to achieve the American dream. - Tommy Hilfiger
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain
The essential element in personal magnetism is a consuming sincerity - an overwhelming faith in the importance of the work one has to do. - Bruce Barton
To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay
Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin
If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown
Redneck Muffler Repair
Drama Queen Diary
He Looks Just Like His Father!
Happy Snow Car
Sand Strap Experience
Redneck Calf Feeder
BaCoN T-Shirt
Go Winterized
Car Igloo
Hen Pecked
It's Movie Time
In The Dog House
2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)
Diaper Change
Palestinian Security Check
Wurst-Case Scenario
High-Rise Inifinity Pool
Winter Kayaking
Balanced Family Life
Closed Ahead
Forgettable Fishing Trips
I've Got Your Back
Dr Pepper Financing
Wine Therapy