QuotaBillsBirth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker
I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts
Physician, heal thyself. - Luke 4:23
Every disease is a physician. - Irish Proverb
Dyspupsia: Being sick as a dog. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns
Better a lucky physician than a learned one. - English Proverb
The doctors X-rayed my head an found nothing. - Dizzy Dean
When fate arrives the physician becomes a fool. - Arabic proverb
The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
Why do the best doctors have the sickest patients? - Unknown
One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom. - Muriel Spark
My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher
There are life-threatening issues related to diabetes. - Stephen Wallem
Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. - Kin Hubbard
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell. - Edward Abbey
Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown
Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome
Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett
NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield
When it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. - Graham Norton
A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
A psychiatrist is a man who goes to Les Folies Bergere and looks at the audience. - Mervyn Stockwood
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin
What clinical lectures I will give in heaven, demonstrating the ignorance of doctors! - Israel Zangwill
No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild
The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst
Life is not over because you have diabetes. Make the most of what you have, be grateful. - Dale Evans
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams
A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown
Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra
Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce
Ignorance is not so damnable as humbug, but when it prescribes pills it may happen to do more harm. - George Eilot
I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly
Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen
Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud
I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley
I was determined to share my positive approach and not let diabetes stand in the way of enjoying my life. - Paula Deen
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. - Rodney Dangerfield
If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
You go to a psychiatrist when you're slightly cracked and keep going until you're completely cracked. - Unknown
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
With some diseases, like type 2 diabetes, if people get alerted early, they can take steps to avert getting sick. - Elizabeth Holmes
I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
Albert Schweitzer's philosophy is that a sick, miserable African of today can be a strong healthy cannibal tomorrow. - Joe E Lewis
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician's visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness. - Warfield Theobald Longcope
'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
The art of healing comes from nature, not from the physician. Therefore the physician must start from nature, with an open mind. - Paracelsus
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
When enough people care about autism or diabetes or global warming, it helps everyone, even if only a tiny fraction actively participate. - Seth Godin
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield
A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson
There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman
A physician's physiology has much the same relation to his power of healing as a cleric's divinity has to his power of influencing conduct. - Samuel Butler
When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is — if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess. - Nicholas de Belleville
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart