#1 humor site on the 'net

Depresso

The feeling you get when you've run out of coffee

Depresso thanks to Howard Chapman

Saying no to Espresso

QuotaBills
Turkish Bath: A pool room - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Has Beans: Used coffee grounds - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A morning without coffee is like sleep. - Unknown

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? - Steven Wright

When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown

I like my men like I like my coffee. Silent. - Anna Kendrick

How I feel when there is no coffee? DEPRESSO - Unknown

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Coffee,chocolate, men. The richer the better! - Unknown

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. - T S Eliot

Leanardo De Cappuccino: Founder, coffee shop chain - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'd rather take coffee than compliments just now. - Louisa May Alcott

I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek

Depresso: The feeling you get when you run out of coffee - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos

Coffee and chocolate - the inventor of mocha should be sainted. - Cherise Sinclair

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

Without my morning coffee, I'm just like a dried-up piece of goat. - J.S. Bach

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

What would life be without coffee? But then, what is it even with coffee? - King Louis XV

I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan

I love you more than pumpkin spice latte but please don't make me prove it! - Unknown

If there's no coffee, I'm not getting up. Make Groundhog Day just better. - ethicalbean

It's amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee. - Donna A Favors

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles. - Charles Bukowski

A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea. But if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. - Abraham Lincoln

Jitterbug: 1. A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet; 2. Insect that's had too much coffee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee, and then after that still don't talk to me. - Unknown

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda


Making Music Together

Back Asswards

Tent Peg Setup

Fang Treats

Model T Snowmobile

Skinny Puddy Tat

Redneck Cocktail

Drug Dog Search

Vice Grip Handles

Nouveau Riche

Triple Bypass Burger

Hyphenated Names

Indian Fish Pond

Lunch Anyone?

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Giraffe Lunch

Bathroom Celebration

Tennis Ball Retriever

One

Tonsil Ring

Brew Haul-her - 12 Brewskies At A Time

Anon-y-moose

Redneck Beer Opener

Greek Monk