Dad's Turn

Nipper: Baby crab - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hasta la vista, baby. - Terminator 2: Judgement Day

Dust Rags: Dad's Underwear - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ballroom: A nursery for crying babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A baby's laugh is an angel's voice. - Unknown

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

My dad's my best mate, and he always will be. - Cher Lloyd

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

Being a Dad is the greatest, except for assembling things. - Conan O'Brien

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. - Nora Ephron

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy. - Unknown

Clients don't care about the labor pains; they want to see the baby. - Tim Williams

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

A daughter needs a dad to be the standard against which she will judge all men. - Gregory E Lang

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? - Benny Hill

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

My dad's pants kept creeping up on him. By 65 he was just a pair of pants and a head. - Jeff Altman

Becoming a dad means you have to be a role model for your son and be someone he can look up to. - Wayne Rooney

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

Charity is not like feeding pigeons in the square. It is a process that requires professional management. - Roman Abramovich

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad's payroll - and on to his wife's - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

The greatest tribute a boy can give to his father is to say, 'When I grow up, I want to be just like my Dad.' - Billy Graham

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals. - Robert Orben

As an experienced artist, I carry my work like a secret pregnancy. I am always aware of inner life and the need to protect it. - Julia Cameron

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad, and that's why I call you dad, because you are so special to me. - Wade Boggs