Curses, Foiled Again

Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. - Unknown

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen. - Unknown

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras

Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Reality: The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

God will never give you anything you can't handle, so don't stress. - Kelly Clarkson

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

Wishes and fears are illusions, Dil Bahadur, not realities. You must practice detachment. - Isabel Allende

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

In times of great stress or adversity, plow your anger and your energy into something positive. - Lee Iacocca

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live. - Mark Twain

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very, very few people. - James Thurber

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia