Curses, Foiled Again

Colic: A sheep dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If we choose, we can live in a world of comforting illusion. - Noam Chomsky

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. - John Rooney

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. - Hans Selye

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

Most stress is caused by people who overestimate the importance of their problems. - Michael LeBoeuf

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live. - Mark Twain

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

Dreams or illusions, call them what you will, they lift us from the commonplace of life to better things. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached. - Simone Weil

I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very, very few people. - James Thurber

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash