#1 humor site on the 'net

Cooking For Guys

Cookbook for a bachelor's kitchen

Cooking For Guys thanks to Howard Chapman

Meal recipe for a bachelor: (A) simple, (b) quick, and (C) lots of it

QuotaBills
That guy is a blackbuster. - Archie Bunker

Come to the dark side. We have cookies. - Unknown

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Some guys play hockey. Gretzky plays 40-mph chess. - Lowell Cohn

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. - Phyllis Diller

I wouldn't trade you for all the cookies in the world. - Cookie Monster

I'm a terrible cook, but I make very good lobster salad. - Nancy Carell

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. - Bob Hope

I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas. - Hillary Clinton

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay

I'm the last guy in the world to feel overlooked by the Academy. - Jack Nicholson

As a kid, I got three meals a day. Oatmeal, miss-a-meal and no meal. - Mr. T

I'm a guy who can't function well in life, but I can in art. - Woody Allen

I know the guy who writes all those bumper stickers. He hates New York. - Steven Wright

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

Here's a last bequest: I don't want that guy sayin' my last urology. - Archie Bunker

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

I have a constant sweet tooth, so I like anything from the bakery, like cupcakes, cookies. - Carmen Electra

The secret of managing is to keep the guys who hate you away from the guys who are undecided. - Casey Stengel

A tax loophole is something that benefits the other guy. If it benefits you, it is a tax reform. - Russell B Long

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. - Carl Jung

I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling. - Rodney Dangerfield

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don't require as much cooking. - Carrie Snow

I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. - Michael Moore

In the words of Harry S. Truman, "If it's too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook." - Archie Bunker

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

There is never a deed so foul that something couldn't be said for the guy; that's why there are lawyers. - Melvin Belli

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

Politics is the only business where doing nothing other than making the other guy look bad is an acceptable outcome. - Mark Warner

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

Thousands and thousands of guys applied to be on the show... Some of them were crazy. Some of them were so much into themselves. - Donald Trump

The best cookies of all in the world are the ones my daughter Sally makes. They come out all uniform with nice little air holes. - Willard Scott

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

Whenever I have a spare second, I'm in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cookies. I make a mean batch of chocolate chippers. - Karlie Kloss

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright


Here We Goat Again

WatchCat

Disk Drive

Unemployed Politicians

Aye Matey

Redneck Calculator

Pocket Knots

Where Do The Amish Go For A Vacation?

Life Extension

4th Dimension Bookshelf

Water Value

Flexible Toothbrush

Redneck Dent Repair

Veterinarian or Taxidermist?

Same Sex Marriage in Canada

CardboardZilla

Indian Writing

Ancient Shiloh

1938 Cost Of Living

Black Olives Matter

Peckish

Awesome 'P' Door

Snake Shortener

Scientific Driving Test