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Cooking For Guys

Cookbook for a bachelor's kitchen

Cooking For Guys thanks to Howard Chapman

Meal recipe for a bachelor: (A) simple, (b) quick, and (C) lots of it

QuotaBills
Talk doesn't cook rice. - Chinese Proverb

One can say everything best over a meal. - George Eliot

Raisin cookies are why I have trust issues. - Unknown

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

That guy ain't been the same since he had that vasexomy. - Archie Bunker

In France, cooking is a serious art form and a national sport. - Julia Child

In some areas I am more noted for reading then I am for cookies. - Wally Amos

A meal without cheese is like a beautiful woman who lacks an eye. - Jean A Brillat-Savarin

I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas. - Hillary Clinton

As a kid, I got three meals a day. Oatmeal, miss-a-meal and no meal. - Mr. T

If life gives you a bowl of lemons, go find an annoying guy with paper cuts. - Unknown

Opera: where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings. - Robert Benchley

A joyful life is an individual creation that cannot be copied from a recipe. - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

The only good thing about him is his cook. The world visits his dinners, not him. - Moliere

If I have one advantage, it's that I will try to work harder than the next guy. - Jay Leno

Quartet: 1. Four guys who think the other three sing off-key; 2. The sum of two pints. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

People want honest, flavourful food, not some show-off meal that takes days to prepare. - Ted Allen

The sun looks down on nothing half so good as a household laughing together over a meal. - C S Lewis

I ain't got nothing in that hand. Look at that, this guy is suspective of everything. - Archie Bunker

It used to be that when all else failed, a guy went into the army; now he becomes a consultant. - Blackie Sherrod

The secret of managing is to keep the 5 guys who hate you away from the 5 guys who are undecided. - Casey Stengel

Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. - Helen Rowland

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. - Carl Jung

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

I like cookies, any cookie you put in front of me - animal cookies, sugar cookies, anything crunchy. - Maria Shriver

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

There is never a deed so foul that something couldn't be said for the guy; that's why there are lawyers. - Melvin Belli

I tell ya, I get no respect from anyone. I bought a cemetery plot. The guy said, "There goes the neighbourhood!" - Rodney Dangerfield

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman

Thousands and thousands of guys applied to be on the show... Some of them were crazy. Some of them were so much into themselves. - Donald Trump

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't... and that's a spouse who can't cook and will. - Robert Frost

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it. - Rodney Dangerfield

I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable. - Archie Bunker

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make. - Unknown


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