Computer Resuscitation

The computer is a moron. - Peter F Drucker

Oh, so they have internet on computers now! - Homer Simpson

We don't need nukes. We have the internet. - Alice Minium

The internet is a great way to get on the net. - Bob Dole

I took the initiative in creating the internet. - Al Gore

A girl with cotton stockings never sees a mouse. - American Proverb

Real Soon Now: When the software will be shipped - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

A mouse never entrusts his life to only one hole. - Plautus

First Aid Kit: A cat that works for the Red Cross. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. - Jeff Pesis

The mouse that fears the trap has already been trapped. - Marty Rubin

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak

Mouse: An animal which strews its path with fainting women. - Ambrose Bierce

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

On the keyboard of life always keep one finger on the 'escape' key. - Unknown

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. - Mitchell Kapor

Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Keyboard: 1. Place to hang your keys; 2. The standard way to generate computer errors. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I almost sent you a real birthday card but thankfully my internet connection came back. - Unknown

Internet: The best library in the world, but with all its books strewn across the floor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't believe in e-mail. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Learning by doing, peer-to-peer teaching, and computer simulation are all part of the same equation. - Nicholas Negroponte

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

Just as we could have rode into the sunset, along came the Internet, and it tripled the significance of the PC. - Andy Grove

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

The new information technology (Internet and e-mail) have practically eliminated the physical costs of communications. - Peter F Drucker

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mouse trap you set the night before. - Kin Hubbard

Boat Anchor: 1. Thrown out when you need it, and taken in when you don't; 2. An old computer so useless that it needs to go to sea. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Cell phones, mobile e-mail, and all the other cool and slick gadgets can cause massive losses in our creative output and overall productivity. - Robin S Sharma

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright

The problem with the internet is that it gives you everything - reliable material and crazy material. So the problem becomes, how do you discriminate? - Umberto Eco