#1 humor site on the 'net

Cloud Control

Weather warning for a wet day ahead

Cloud Control thanks to Liam James

Some farmers can't get their crops in fast enough

QuotaBills
Into the sky to win or die. - Christopher Paolini

Women hold up half the sky. - Mao Zedong

The sky already fell. Now what? - Steven Wright

Every cloud has a silver lining. - Proverb

The brain is wider than the sky. - Emily Dickinson

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

I talk to God but the sky is empty. - Sylvia Plath

If the sky falls, hold up your hands. - Spanish proverb

Knock on the sky and listen to the sound. - Zen Saying

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

Don't let one cloud obliterate the whole sky. - Anais Nin

The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart. - Buddha

Baby I paint the sky blue
My greatest creation was you. - Jay-Z

He who has the property in the soil has the same up in the sky. - Latin Proverb

The sky is the limit only for those who aren't afraid to fly. - Bob Bello

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. - Dodie Smith

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

It is only in sorrow bad weather masters us; in joy we face the storm and defy it. - Amelia Barr

Birds find shelter during the rain, but eagles avoid rain by flying above the clouds. - Abdul Kalam

I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker

Let's get an extended weather forecast from a jittery, inconsistent, reddish brown rodent. - Unknown

I have to dream and reach for the stars, and if I miss a star then I grab a handful of clouds. - Mike Tyson

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint. - Don Marquis

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly. I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky. - Unknown

The visions are fragmented and a dark cloud spreads like spilt ink across the pages of possible futures. - Garth Nix

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. - Robert Frost

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

The blazing wings of dawn spirited me away, Dragon-swift above the suns-rise, flying to my destiny beyond the clouds. - Marc Secchia

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

The air up there in the clouds is very pure and fine, bracing and delicious. And why shouldn't it be? It is the same the angels breathe. - Mark Twain

I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it. Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor. - Steven Wright

Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky. - Hafez

The spirit is smothered, as it were, by ignorance, but so soon as ignorance is destroyed, spirit shines forth, like the sun when released from clouds. - Sankara


Life's Choices

Olympic Torch Bearers

Lethal Weapon

Cell Shaver

Getting Goosed

No Swimming

Drift Racing

Alligators vs. Crocodiles

Cure for Internet Addiction

Seal LOL

Keyboard Seating

Illusive Dice

Cockroach Cancer

Time Management

People Crossing

Cozy Home

Redneck Faucet

Duck That Did Not Duck

Chewie, We're Home

Introducing the iPhone 20

Meateor

Ancient Shiloh

British Accountant

Ruling On Criticism