#1 humor site on the 'net

Cholla Claws

Do jumping cholla cactus really jump?

Do not be deceived in the Arizona Desert! Although Cholla cactus are small, they are very painful. Each needle is sharp and has hundreds of microscopic scales.
Cholla Claws thanks to Barry McCartney

Now I know why tequila was invented...

The “Jumping Cholla” (Cylindropuntia Fulgida, also known as the “Hanging Chain Cholla” and “Teddy Bear Cholla”) is a Cholla cactus native to the Southwestern United States and Sonora, Mexico. Better to visit a Desert Botanical Garden for a safer place to learn more about prickly natives.

QuotaBills
Pain should not be wasted. - Gerda W Klein

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

The pain passes, but the beauty remains. - Pierre-August Renoir

Pain and suffering are God's megaphone. - C S Lewis

My alone time is for everyone's safety. - Unknown

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman

Leaders don't inflict pain; they share pain. - Max Depree

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? - George Carlin

Laughter is the tonic, the relief, the surcease for pain. - Charlie Chaplin

Reach for the stars, even if you have to stand on a cactus. - Susan Longacre

It is easy to stand a pain, but difficult to stand an itch. - Chang Ch'ao

Obedience is the mother of success and is wedded to safety. - Aeschylus

How much pain have cost us the evils that have never happened. - Thomas Jefferson

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

The more you get past pain, the more it goes from coal to diamond. - Jodi Picoult

Pleasure of love lasts but a moment. Pain of love lasts a lifetime. - Bette Davis

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea. - Walter Bagehot

The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal. - C S Lewis

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. - Allen Klein

No pain, no palm; no thorns, no throne; no gall, no glory; no cross, no crown. - William Penn

You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it. - J K Rowling

Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. - Bible

When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you known it is healed. - Lyanla Vanzant

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

I started out as a football player. I liked to inflict pain. In basketball, it was the same thing. - Shaquille O'Neal

Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. - C S Lewis

Pain is neither intolerable nor everlasting... it is in the power of the soul to maintain its own serenity. - Marcus Aurelius

God loves us too much to leave us alone to contend with the pain, guilt and loneliness of our present life. - Josh McDowell

Just like a shoe, if someone is meant for you, they will fit just perfectly. No forcing, no struggling, and no pain. - Unknown

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

In order to have great happiness you have to have great pain and unhappiness - otherwise how would you know when you're happy? - Leslie Caron

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

Do something everyday that you don't want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain. - Mark Twain

The pain started years ago, but I'd lived with it for so long at that point that I'd accepted it as an inevitable part of me. - Ashley Wallis

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Where we always start is: What's the user's itch? What's their pain point that occurs frequently enough to build a habit around? - Nir Eyal

There are two ways you can get through pain. You can let it destroy you, or you can use it as fuel to drive you: to dream bigger, to work harder. - Taylor Swift


Geeks On Display

Smores Level Expert

Saskatchewan Freeway

Lost Cat

Trudeau Masterpiece

Circumcision

Vegan Wisdom

Sharp Sign

Pulled You Over

'No Fart Forest' for Extreme Fire Hazards

Leaf Edge

Windmill Guitar

Redneck Shave

Coffee Grinds

Legal Exhibit

Cattle Breeding

Study to Fail

Light Bulb

Lifeguard Distancing

Giant Grasshopper

Horse Hearse

Train Boat

Yarn Bombing a Bus

Canned Art