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Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

To err is human, for forgive, canine. - Unknown

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

Germs: The only things kids will share freely - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

When I was a kid everyone used to call me pork 'n. - Michael Biehn

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up. - Robert Frost

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

I'm like the kid in kindergarten; I really do send valentines to everyone. - Susie Bright

No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone, you answer it. - Dave Chappelle

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

When I was a kid, I always wanted to live in California because I liked skateboarding. - Demetri Martin

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

A rich person should leave his kids enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing. - Warren Buffett

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

I've gone from being bullied by jocks as a kid to being bullied by nerds as an adult. - Chris Hardwick

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

Having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father. - Nick Lachey

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

Having a kid is like falling in love for the first time when you're 12, but every single day. - Mike Myers

I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it. - George Burns

Apparently, as a kid, I used to eat spiders. Maybe there's some Freudian significance behind that. - Matt Smith

No kid is unsmart. Every kid's a genius at something. Our job is to find it. And then encourage it. - Robin Sharma

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. - Rodney Dangerfield

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view. - Sophia Loren

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

My girlfriend wants me to stain the new wooden fence in her backyard. So I'm going to eat spaghetti over it for a few weeks. - Rick Lantern

Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. - Bill Gates

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash