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Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Southpaw: A dog who is left-handed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Lassitude: A heroic dog with attitude - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Goat Herder: A person who likes to work with kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

Juvenile Delinquency: Modern term for what we did as kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts. - Unknown

Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Water Hazard: Giving the kids too much to drink before a road trip - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Baby Boomer: A kid who just polished off six jars of raspberry jam - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

As a kid, I got three meals a day. Oatmeal, miss-a-meal and no meal. - Mr. T

The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. - John Rooney

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

I'm like the kid in kindergarten; I really do send valentines to everyone. - Susie Bright

The majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn't finish. - Carrie Underwood

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed. - Don Rickles

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

I've gone from being bullied by jocks as a kid to being bullied by nerds as an adult. - Chris Hardwick

Energy: Element of vitality kids always have an oversupply of until asked to do something - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Because: Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be explained logically - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

Having a kid is like falling in love for the first time when you're 12, but every single day. - Mike Myers

Winning depends on where you put your priorities. It's usually best to put them over the fence. - Jason Giambi

Bob War: (Southern) A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: 'Boy, stay away from that bob war fence.' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

The truth is that whenever a fence is removed, it's wise to ask why it was put there in the first place. - Ravi Zacharias

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

My girlfriend wants me to stain the new wooden fence in her backyard. So I'm going to eat spaghetti over it for a few weeks. - Rick Lantern

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia