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Check This Out thanks to Ruth Weber

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Every dog has his day. - Unknown

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend. - Emo Philips

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Any kid will run any errand for you if you ask at bedtime. - Red Skelton

When I was a kid I inhaled frequently. That was the point. - Barack Obama

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts. - Unknown

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. - John Rooney

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

The majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn't finish. - Carrie Underwood

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon. - Brian P. Cleary

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly

I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps. - Jimmy Kimmel

I'm so ugly my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. - Rodney Dangerfield

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. - Steven Wright

Apparently, as a kid, I used to eat spiders. Maybe there's some Freudian significance behind that. - Matt Smith

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. - Rodney Dangerfield

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very, very few people. - James Thurber

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. - Bill Gates

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

Having kids - the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings - is the biggest job anyone can embark on. - Maria Shriver

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz


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