Cheap Birthday Card

I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it. - Boris Johnson

I eat cake because it's somebody's birthday somewhere. - Unknown

Because the sweeter the cake, the more bitter the jelly can be. - Lady Gaga

Happy birthday to a sister who has the best sister in the world. - Unknown

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. - Bob Hope

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? - Lisa Loeb

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

We have always said that advertising is just the icing on the cake. It is not the cake. - Meg Whitman

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows. - Unknown

Everything slows down with age. Except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips. - John Wagner

You're getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it. - Felix Severn

If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th birthday, you can get out of bed. - E. Jean Carroll

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. - Steven Wright

Thank you to all who posted kind birthday wishes. I'm touched. The rest of you will be un-friended tomorrow. - Unknown

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

If you're trying to create a company, it's like baking a cake. You have to have all the ingredients in the right proportion. - Elon Musk

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield