#1 humor site on the 'net

Cat Chauffeur

Some Chauffurs will drive you to distraction

Cat Chauffeur thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Chauffur: a cat employed to drive a private automobile for the owner

QuotaBills
You gotta be kitten me. - Unknown

Curiosity killed the cat. - English Proverb

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution. - Hazel Nicholson

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat. - Leo Dworkin

My husband is a general's chauffeur somewhere in France. - Lillie Langtry

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

When I die, I want to come back as Bobby Layne's chauffeur. - Don Meredith

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. - Wesley Bates

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. - Albert Schweitzer

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction. - Mark Twain

In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. - Warren Eckstein

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. - Hippolyte Taine

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Alfred Tennyson

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

Every street in London has a camera, and if you ever travel up the M4, it feels as if George Orwell should be your chauffeur. - Don McCullin

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen


Turkey Day Selfie

Redneck Turkey Shoot

Grandma's Beautiful Pies

Going Cold Turkey

Run, Turkey, Run

Carving The Turkey

Thanksgiving Harvest Time

Turkey Wants You To Eat Pork

Nintendo Motor

Responsible Hi-Tech Redneck

GoosePrints

Stairway Roots

I Love Thanksgiving

'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

Turkey Not

Turkey Weather Forecast

Pass The CatSoup, Please

Peace Foot

Missing Piece Statue

Baby Juggling

Dog Tired After Work

How To Burn Fat

Canadian Car Crash

Treescape