#1 humor site on the 'net

Cassowary Warning

Road safety sign puts Aussie bird 'Down Under'

Cassowary Warning thanks to Eddy Joyce, Armadale, West Australia

Wile E. Coyote catches an Australian Road Runner

Cassowaries are flightless birds, part of the ratite group, which also includes the emu, rheas, ostriches, and kiwis, and the extinct moas and elephant birds. They're native to the tropical forests of New Guinea and northeastern Australia.

QuotaBills
I want to paint the way a bird sings. - Claude Monet

History is a vast early warning system. - Norman Cousins

The freedom of birds is an insult to me. - Cormac McCarthy

If you can't be a good example, be a warning. - Unknown

Was there a bird for the souls of people like me? - Ruta Sepetys

The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship. - William Blake

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings. - William Blake

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. - Salvador Dali

The early bird gets the worm. The early worm gets eaten. - Norman Augustine

The bird is powered by its own life and by its motivation. - Abdul Kalam

I never wanted to weigh more heavily on a man than a bird. - Coco Chanel

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame. - Kohta Hirano

A bird in the hand is a certainty, but a bird in the bush may sing. - Bret Harte

Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark. - Rabindranath Tagore

The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp. - John Berry

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

In order to see birds it is necessary to become a part of the silence. - Robert Lynd

The structure of a play is always the story of how the birds come home to roost. - Arthur Miller

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song. - Lou Holtz

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will. - Charlotte Bronte

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

Be grateful for luck. Pay the thunder no mind. Listen to the birds. And don't hate nobody. - Eubie Blake

I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach ten thousand stars how not to dance. - e e cummings

We are just tenants on this earth. We have been given a new lease, and a warning from the landlord. - Unknown

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

You are Mr. Owl. I am Ms. Hummingbird. We may come from different species but as long as you're a bird, I'm a bird too. - Glad Munaiseche

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. - Steven Wright

The moment a little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing. - Eric Berne

A male frigate bird blows up a wild red pouch on his neck. He can keep it puffed up for hours. It is his way of impressing the girls. - Julie Murphy

If I were a flower,
humming bird would be my favourite bee
And If I were blind,
the light of darkness I'd love to see - Munia Khan

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher


2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Redneck Cooler

Saskatchewan Mansion

Make America Grate Again

Flower Basket

Donkey Cart

Music Note Chairlift

Thanks For Noticing

Winter Cyclist

No-Lake Picture

Morning Coffee Break

Sign Crime

Royal Family Scrutiny

Bringing It Home

Secret Revealed

Women Pro Golfers

Alternative To Spanking

Laser Cats

At My Age I Need Glasses

Yoga Wine

Slip Sliding Away

Wi-Fi Free Restaurant

Buffalo Construction Plans

For Best Results