#1 humor site on the 'net

Cassowary Warning

Road safety sign puts Aussie bird 'Down Under'

Cassowary Warning thanks to Eddy Joyce, Armadale, West Australia

Wile E. Coyote catches an Australian Road Runner

Cassowaries are flightless birds, part of the ratite group, which also includes the emu, rheas, ostriches, and kiwis, and the extinct moas and elephant birds. They're native to the tropical forests of New Guinea and northeastern Australia.

QuotaBills
Fowl: A four-letter bird. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Unflappable: A flightless bird - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The early bird catches the worm. - English Proverb

I want to paint the way a bird sings. - Claude Monet

Crowbar: Where birds can get a drink. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. - English Proverb

The littlest birds sing the prettiest songs. - Tanyas

Heavenly bodies are nests of invisible birds. - Dejan Stojanovic

The shell must break before the bird can fly. - Unknown

Goose: A bird that supplies quills for writing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness. - Alejandro Jodorowsky

If you can't be a good example, be a warning. - Unknown

The early bird gets the worm. The early worm gets eaten. - Norman Augustine

The bird is powered by its own life and by its motivation. - Abdul Kalam

Woodpecker: 1. A knocking bird; 2. A 17th Century prosthetic device. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

Though what bird in the best of circumstances does not look a little stricken? - Lorrie Moore

With birds flying around, man's desire for having wings rises to infinite. - Mehmet M Ildan

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. - Steven Wright

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song. - Lou Holtz

Birds with broken wings walking on the ground were once flying high up in the sky. - Mehmet M Ildan

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will. - Charlotte Bronte

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

A bird that you set free may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips will not return. - Jewish Proverb

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Mosquito: 1. A small insect designed by God to make us think better of flies; 2. The state bird of New Jersey. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses. - Dale Carnegie

You are Mr. Owl. I am Ms. Hummingbird. We may come from different species but as long as you're a bird, I'm a bird too. - Glad Munaiseche

You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair. - Chinese Proverb

A male frigate bird blows up a wild red pouch on his neck. He can keep it puffed up for hours. It is his way of impressing the girls. - Julie Murphy

If I were a flower,
humming bird would be my favourite bee
And If I were blind,
the light of darkness I'd love to see - Munia Khan

There is nothing in which the birds differ more from man than the way in which they can build and yet leave a landscape as it was before. - Robert Lynd

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

Like a prisoner awaiting his release, like a schoolboy when the end of term is near, like a migrant bird ready to fly south... I long to be gone. - Malcolm Muggeridge


Chinese Puzzle Car

Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Wolf Mode

Undertaker Bike

Throwaway Sport Paper

Pacman Skeleton

Vatican City's New Breakfast Special

Flying Cathedral Excuse

Day At The Beach

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Amish Prom Limo