Career Choices

Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

A plumber's idea of Cleopatra. - WC Fields

Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

I now close my military career and just fade away. - Douglas MacArthur

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

My career plans were much more exciting when I was 5. - Unknown

I always thought of losing my virginity as a career move. - Madonna

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. - Woody Allen

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

Every woman dreams of her own political career and her own place in life. - Raisa M. Gorbachev

I wanted to be a brain surgeon, but I had a bad habit of dropping things. - Gilbert Gottfried

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. - Phyllis Diller

Everyone should experience defeat at least once during their career. You learn a lot from it. - Lou Holtz

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

My career must be slipping. This is the first time I've been available to pick up an award. - Michael Caine

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather

A man with a career can have no time to waste upon his wife and friends; he has to devote it wholly to his enemies. - John Hobbes

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown