Career Choices

In wine, there is truth. - Pliny the Elder

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

A plumber's idea of Cleopatra. - WC Fields

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

My career plans were much more exciting when I was 5. - Unknown

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

The fountain of youth is a mixture of gin and vermouth. - Cole Porter

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

I always thought of losing my virginity as a career move. - Madonna

If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

My breasts have a career of their own. Theirs is going better. - Jennifer L Hewitt

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

Most of the early part of an actor's career, you do the jobs you get. - Jack Nicholson

I wanted to be a brain surgeon, but I had a bad habit of dropping things. - Gilbert Gottfried

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson

Assume any career move you make won't go smoothly. They won't. But don't look back. - Andy Grove

He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. - George Bernard Shaw

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

A good manager is a man who isn't worried about his own career but the careers of those who work for him. - H.M.S. Burns

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore

Should not a career be something splendid, wonderful, spectacular or, at the very least, something varied and exciting? - Lucy Maud Montgomery

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only - and that is to support the ultimate career. - C S Lewis

When I finished school, I took one of those career-aptitude tests, and based on my verbal ability score, they suggested I become a mime. - Tim Cavanagh

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

I have frequently been questioned, especially by women, of how I could reconcile family life with a scientific career. Well, it has not been easy. - Marie Curie

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster