#1 humor site on the 'net

Car Seat Painting

Upholstery repair for car seat covers

Car Seat Painting thanks to Mike King

Bubba experiments with new car upholstery fabric

QuotaBills
The painting has a life of its own. - Jackson Pollock

I want to paint the way a bird sings. - Claude Monet

Keep the paint up, and the rubber down. - Unknown

What is this, an audience or an oil painting? - Milton Berle

Every time I paint a portrait I lose a friend. - John Singer Sargent

A brush of kindness can paint a smile on a face. - Robert M. Hensel

I hardly ever stretch the canvas before painting. - Jackson Pollock

Vanish: An invisible substance you paint on fences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't say everything, but I paint everything. - Pablo Picasso

The only time I feel alive is when I'm painting. - Andy Warhol

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F Kennedy

Painting is stronger than me, it makes me do its bidding. - Pablo Picasso

Baby I paint the sky blue
My greatest creation was you. - Jay-Z

In the end it's more fun to be the painter than the paint. - George Clooney

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass

The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it. - Steven Wright

You should not paint the chair, but only what someone has felt about it. - Edvard Munch

I did not literally paint that table, but the emotion it produces upon me. - Henri Matisse

Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise man to be able to sell it. - Samuel Butler

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can. - Danny Kaye

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

Perspective is to painting what the bridle is to the horse, the rudder to a ship. - Leonardo da Vinci

A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence. - Leopold Stokowski

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

It's not your painting anymore. It stopped being your painting the moment that you finished it. - Jeff Melvoin

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

The minute there's a map, there is no art. Paint by numbers is not art. Paint by numbers is a mechanical activity. - Seth Godin

If there be a God, I think that what he would like me to do is paint as much of the map of Africa British red as possible. - Cecil Rhodes

I challenge you to make your life the masterpiece you want to paint, the novel you want to read, the day you want to wake to. - Toni Sorenson

Self-consciousness is the enemy of all art, be it acting, writing, painting, or living itself, which is the greatest art of all. - Ray Bradbury

The technology keeps moving forward, which makes it easier for the artists to tell their stories and paint the pictures they want. - George Lucas

Deals are my art form. Other people paint beautifully on canvas or write wonderful poetry. I like making deals, preferably big deals. - Donald Trump

Painting is a blind man's profession. He paints not what he sees, but what he feels, what he tells himself about what he has seen. - Pablo Picasso

At some point in life the world's beauty becomes enough. You don't need to photograph, paint or even remember it. It is enough. - Toni Morrison

I love writing for women. The willingness to go from laughter to tears in a moment is the greatest palette you can paint with as a writer. - Michael P King

It was any outcast's nightmare. If I looked carefully, I suspected I might find it beneath the black paint of the small acrylic by the window. - Nancy Werlin

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright


Turkey Popcorn Dressing

Redneck Outhouse Throne

I'll Be Right There

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane

Young Superman

When Not To Stop Too Fast

Bustache

CheckMate

Plane Oops!

Sand Dive

Manitoba Home Security System

WinDoor

Bungee Cord Suspenders

Mirror Solution

Beerbulance

Handicap Motorcyclist

Filling Up Is OverRated

Coin Stacking

I Miss Being A Tree

Stoned In The Garden

Looking For Something?

LadyNet

Louvre Paintings

Working From Home