Car-Eating Cow

In the dark, all cows are black. - German Proverb

Baking is science for hungry people. - Unknown

Vice-President: A cow's fifth teat. - Harry S Truman

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

Persist as resolutely as you persist in eating. - Maori Saying

Australian Kiss: Same as French Kiss, only down under - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mealtime: When youngsters sit down to continue eating - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If I'm not eating donuts, I'm thinking about it. - Unknown

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

When eating bamboo sprouts, remember the man who planted them. - China Proverb

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

I'm such a foodie. If I see a pork chop, I'm eating it. - Josh Henderson

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2,000 of something. - Mitch Hedberg

A hungry man is more interested in four sandwiches than four freedoms. - Henry Cabot Lodge, Jr.

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

Mushrooms can be very fancy. It's the closest you can get to eating dirt. - Tom Colicchio

The world can't end today, because it's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles M. Schulz

Being kissed by a man who doesn't wax his moustache is like eating an egg without salt. - Rudyard Kipling

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

By eating many fruits and vegetables in place of fast food and junk food, people could avoid obesity. - David H Murdock

Dictators ride to and fro upon tigers which they dare not dismount. And the tigers are getting hungry. - Winston Churchill

It was really strange to see all these apes standing around eating popcorn, smoking, wearing sunglasses. - Estella Warren

I'm not from a maple producing area and so my maple syrup credentials are very much of the eating side. - Nancy Greeme

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright