Car-Eating Cow

The appetite grows by eating. - Francois Rabelais

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Mark Twain

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry? - George Carlin

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

When eating bamboo sprouts, remember the man who planted them. - China Proverb

I'm such a foodie. If I see a pork chop, I'm eating it. - Josh Henderson

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six. - Yogi Berra

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Being kissed by a man who doesn't wax his moustache is like eating an egg without salt. - Rudyard Kipling

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles M. Schulz

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Dictators ride to and fro upon tigers which they dare not dismount. And the tigers are getting hungry. - Winston Churchill

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

It was really strange to see all these apes standing around eating popcorn, smoking, wearing sunglasses. - Estella Warren

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

One of the most wonderful things about life is that we must regularly stop what we are doing and devote our attention to eating. - Samuel Johnson

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

I'm fairly adventurous with my eating. I've tried kangaroo, and Moreton Bay bugs, which are a kind of lobster, are so good. - Brian O'Driscoll

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

I'm always interested in finding the new trend. If you love pizza every day, after 22 years of eating pizza, you want to try sushi. - Jean Pigozzi

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating. - Luciano Pavarotti

Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee. - Daniel Pauly