Car-Eating Cow

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Bonjour, you cheese-eating surrender monkeys. - Groundskeeper Willie

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

We're eating dinner soon. Don't fill up on homework. - Alex Baze

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

I'm such a foodie. If I see a pork chop, I'm eating it. - Josh Henderson

Eating an artichoke is like getting to know someone really well. - Willi Hastings

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

No man is lonely eating spaghetti; it requires so much attention. - Christopher Morley

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow. - Grant Wood

Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go. - Truman Capote

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in a 7-Eleven, OK? - Dennis Miller

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

The world can't end today, because it's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles M. Schulz

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. - Unknown

You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans. - Ronald Reagan

I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts. - Orson Welles

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

Being kissed by a man who doesn't wax his moustache is like eating an egg without salt. - Rudyard Kipling

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles M. Schulz

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

When hungry, eat your rice; when tired, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at me, but wise men will know what I mean. - Lin-Chi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

I'm fairly adventurous with my eating. I've tried kangaroo, and Moreton Bay bugs, which are a kind of lobster, are so good. - Brian O'Driscoll

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

I'm always interested in finding the new trend. If you love pizza every day, after 22 years of eating pizza, you want to try sushi. - Jean Pigozzi

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee. - Daniel Pauly