Canadian Mail

Canada was built on dead beavers. - Margaret Atwood

Open your mail over the wastebasket. - Jeff Davidson

Raw lobster tail, freeze dried, is amazing. - Nathan Myhrvold

I get to go to overseas places, like Canada. - Britney Spears

BANG - A four-letter Italian word for good-bye. - Archie Bunker

I don't even know what street Canada is on. - Al Capone

Canada has two emblems - the beaver and the maple. - John W. Dawson

A book must be the ax for the frozen sea within us. - Franz Kafka

The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. - Stephen Fry

Canada has always been there to help people who need it. - Justin Trudeau

Learning music by reading about it is like making love by mail. - Luciano Pavarotti

If you call ham "Canadian bacon", what do you call bacon? - Michael Kelso

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it? - Mark Twain

Canada is the only country founded on the relentless pursuit of the rodent. - Preston Manning

A woman's best love letters are always written to the man she is betraying. - Lawrence Durrell

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. - Mark Twain

I came from Canada, where it's freezing cold for seven months out of the year. - Rachelle Lefevre

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter. - Blaise Pascal

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

Canada is a good country to be from. It has a gentler slower pace - it lends perspective. - Paul Anka

The only place you’re sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother. - Bruce Lansky

Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull

He that respects himself is safe from others, he wears a coat of mail that none can pierce. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

I don't believe in e-mail. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up. - Sarah Jessica Parker

I have CDO. It's like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order as they should be. - Unknown

The art of art, the glory of expression, and the sunshine of the light of letters, is simplicity. - Walt Whitman

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay. - Milton Berle

I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing. - Groucho Marx

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of the television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. - Johnny Carson

I was born in Canada for a reason. It was because my parents wanted me to have the freedoms that this country offers. - Patrick Chan

The new information technology (Internet and e-mail) have practically eliminated the physical costs of communications. - Peter F Drucker

Canada is a balloon-puncturing country. You are not really allowed to be an icon unless you also make an idiot of yourself. - Margaret Atwood

In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations - it's cold, half-French, and difficult to stir. - Stuart Keate

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

The Post Office just recalled their newest stamps. They had a picture of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. - Marvin Lebman