Canadian Car Crash

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain

Sorry, there is no STAR on the stage tonight! - Donald Trump

Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas

Love means never having to say you're sorry. - Love Story

Alimony is always having to say you're sorry. - Philip Simborg

Substance is not enough, accident is also required. - Greek Proverb

Stardom isn't a profession, it's an accident. - Lauren Bacall

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Grab a chance and you won't be sorry for a might have been. - Arthur Mitchell Ransome

If you call ham "Canadian bacon", what do you call bacon? - Michael Kelso

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best

I was in the ROTC. Of course, ROTC stood for "Running off to Canada." - Jay Leno

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

I saw a notice which said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started. - Brendan Behan

As far as single payer, it works in Canada. It works incredibly well in Scotland. - Donald Trump

I felt sorry for myself because I had no hands until I met a man who had no chips. - Kent Andersson

Canada is the only country in the world that knows how to live without an identity. - Marshall McLuhan

I'm kinda disapointed that Canada isn't like the South Park movie said it was. - Joel Madden

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

Why is America the last best hope of Earth? What if it's Liechtenstein? Or, worse, Canada? - Sarah Vowell

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow

Trudeau's contribution was not to build Canada but to destroy it, and I had to come in and save it. - Brian Mulroney

I have great, fond memories of Canada. I feel that one day my bones will more than likely end up there. - Aden Young

The only way we can ever teach a child to say "I'm sorry" is for him to hear it from our lips first. - Kevin Leman

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

Canada has given us John Candy and Martin Short and Bill Shatner and Lord knows how many other wonderful performers. - Jamie Farr

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or fortune but just yourself that kept things from you. - Lillian Hellman

Canada is a balloon-puncturing country. You are not really allowed to be an icon unless you also make an idiot of yourself. - Margaret Atwood

Three of the most difficult phrases people can't say:
1. I love you
2. I'm sorry
3. I don't know - Joe Segal

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have. - Dale Carnegie

I have a maple leaf tattoo over my heart, quite literally, and my two favorite things on Earth are being in Canada and making movies. - Jay Baruchel

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. - Oprah Winfrey

Exert your talents, and distinguish yourself, and don't think of retiring from the world, until the world will be sorry that you retire. - Samuel Johnson