#1 humor site on the 'net

Bussines Gaurd

Where perceived results count most

Bussines Gaurd thanks to Roy Taylor

Their security guard wasn't hired based on academic achievement

QuotaBills
In any business, the number-one competitor is inertia. - Dave Chilton

Boldness in business is the first, second, and third thing. - Thomas Fuller

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur

About half my time is spent on business operation type stuff. - Mark Zuckerberg

Would you want to do business with a person who was 99% honest? - Sydney Madwed

For business, our Internet love affair was a gift from the gods. - Gary Vaynerchuk

You can't be emotional in business, it can flat out kill you. - Donald Trump

To be successful in show business, all you need are fifty good breaks. - Walter Matthau

I am not yet ready to be czar. I know nothing of the business of ruling. - Nicholas II

Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything else you do. - Unknown

Business is like riding a bicycle. Either you keep moving or you fall down. - John D. Wright

Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. - Helen Keller

I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti

Real joy seems to me almost as unlike security or prosperity as it is unlike agony. - C S Lewis

Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age. - Jeanne Moreau

I wouldn't say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one. - Brian Clough

Business is so bad, even the accounts that don't intend to pay ain't buying. - Unknown

A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield

I had popcorn all over the place, so I decided I might as well be in the Processing Business. - Orville Redenbacher

To be successful, you have to have your heart in your business and your business in your heart. - Thomas J Watson

Talking business disgusts me. If you want to talk business, call my disgusting personal manager. - Sylvester Stallone

If a man's character is to be abused, there's nobody like a relative to do the business. - Alexander Pope

I do not think there is any silver bullet to solving the technology side of the security equation. - John W. Thompson

It is not your business to succeed, but to do right; when you have done so, the rest lies with God. - C S Lewis

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business. - Will Rogers

There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do any business from there. - Colonel Harland Sanders

I'll tell you, it's Big Business. If there is one word to describe Atlantic City, it's Big Business. - Donald Trump

If you can't even acknowledge that you have to fix social security, that's not a very good starting point. - Rob Portman

In today's information age of Marketing and Web 2.0, a company's website is the key to their entire business. - Marcus Sheridan

A simple rule of business is, if you do the things that are easier first, then you can actually make a lot of progress. - Mark Zuckerberg

Thoughts are like arrows: once released, they strike their mark. Guard them well, or one day you may be your own victim. - Navajo Proverb

If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy. - Kin Hubbard

It is very vulgar to talk about one's business. Only people like stockbrokers do that, and then merely at dinner parties. - Oscar Wilde

Business meetings are important because they're one way of demonstrating how many people the company can operate without. - Unknown

My best security is within the munitions of an immutable Jehovah, where His unalterable promises stand like giant walls of rock. - Charles H Spurgeon

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden

Nurse: 1. A woman whose business is to make sickness a pleasure; 2. A young women who holds your wrist and then expects your pulse to be normal. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf


Raise Twins

Redneck Baby Stroller

Dog Lookout

Porpoise Pilots

Redneck Lawn Mower Delivery

Military Cuts Have Gone Too Far

Loose Lips Sink Ships

Bald Helmet

Tasmanian PiggyBack Ride

Rim Fail

Trillion Dollar Man

How Grandma Handles Windows

2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Two Small Men With Big Loads Moving Co.

Snowman Meal

First Snow Blower

Spot the K-Mart Shopper

Designer Lamp

Long Winter

New 50 Pence Coin

Truck Art

Redneck Chair Repair

Bus Head Rest

How Big Was It?