#1 humor site on the 'net

Bolt Action Door

Deadbolt no longer

Bolt Action Door thanks to Gwen McIntyre

Locksmith turns to avenger

QuotaBills
If you want the girl next door, go next door. - Joan Crawford

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. - Milton Berle

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend. - Emo Philips

Rapscallion: A door knocker shaped like an onion - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. - Groucho Marx

I see the poem or the novel ending with an open door. - Michael Ondaatje

Not knowing when the dawn will come I open every door. - Emily Dickinson

At the deaf man's door, knock as much as you like. - Greek Proverb

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur

School Of Hard Knocks: Where they train door-to-door salesmen - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Shut the door will the 2 of yas, we're catchin' ammonia. - Archie Bunker

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door. - Paul Beatty

A man who does not plan long ahead will find trouble at his door. - Confucius

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. - Ogden Nash

Let everyone sweep in front of his door and the whole world will be clean. - Mother Teresa

When you ask "What if..." you open the door to all your options. - Unknown

Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door. - Coco Chanel

He who is outside the door has already a good part of his journey behind him. - Dutch Proverb

He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity. - Sheldon B. Kopp

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

Temptation usually comes in through a door that has deliberately been left open. - Arnold Glasow

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

I like holding the door for people who are far away, so they have to run a little. - Bill Murray

A true friend is the one that's coming in the door while everyone else is going out. - Dr. Phil McGraw

You know that I'm at death's door. But the trouble is that I'm afraid to knock. - W Somerset Maugham

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

You can tell a man isn't handy when he asks the man next door how to get blood off a saw. - Milton Berle

Look for opportunity. You can't wait for it to knock on the door ... You might not be home. - Jinger Heath

I do not think there is any silver bullet to solving the technology side of the security equation. - John W. Thompson

Hard work is the soundest investment. It provides a neat security for your widow's next husband. - Unknown

Have you ever wondered why opportunity only knocks once, yet temptation bangs on the door constantly? - Unknown

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James F. Bymes

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

E-Z Out Bolt and Stud Extractor: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is 10 times harder than any known drill bit. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

People confuse amassing money with security, but it is not so. What a pity to confuse real security with making money. - Billy Graham

May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

My best security is within the munitions of an immutable Jehovah, where His unalterable promises stand like giant walls of rock. - Charles H Spurgeon

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama


Auto Strap

Never Run a Red Light

Bee Safe

Hummers Only Look Tough

Tactical Texas

Defence Budget Cuts

Welfare State

No Flies On Me

Stick Family Meal

Wet Floor

Lord Of The Watch

Close Encounters of the Whale Kind

Military Watch Tower

No Go Intersection

Public Transportation In Scotland

Guarded Nights

Financial Meltdown

Fox Kabob

Microwaved Bulb... Watts You Won't See

Saks-e Parking Job

Griller Bees

Texting While Cycling

Redneck Manicure

Police Profiling In Canada