Joe-ks.com
#1 humor site on the 'net
Boatload Interception
Canadians seeking higher pensions as illegal immigrants
Navy helps to assist Canadian seniors
The Navy intercepted a boatload of people off the coast of B.C. today. This placed the Navy in an awkward position, as the boat was not heading to, but away from Canada, towards Asia.
Another surprise finding was that they were loaded with White Canadians who were all seniors of pensionable age. Their claim was that they were trying to get to Asia so as to be able to return to Canada as illegal immigrants, and therefore be entitled to far more benefits than they were receiving as legitimate Canadian pensioners.
The Navy is believed to have given them food, water and fuel, and assisted them on their journey. We are booking on the next boat out. Let me know if you want to come. Remember - you have to be over 65!
Another surprise finding was that they were loaded with White Canadians who were all seniors of pensionable age. Their claim was that they were trying to get to Asia so as to be able to return to Canada as illegal immigrants, and therefore be entitled to far more benefits than they were receiving as legitimate Canadian pensioners.
The Navy is believed to have given them food, water and fuel, and assisted them on their journey. We are booking on the next boat out. Let me know if you want to come. Remember - you have to be over 65!
Old age is the verdict of life. - Amelia E Barr
Old age is no place for sissies. - Bette Davis
Cherish youth, but trust old age. - Pueblo Proverb
I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown
I want to die young at a ripe old age. - Ashley Montagu
Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown
Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur
One of the many pleasures of old age is giving things up. - Malcolm Muggeridge
Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo
All my available funds are completely tied up in ready cash. - WC Fields
Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. - Daniel F E Auber
Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson
Old age comes on suddenly, and not gradually as is first thought. - Emily Dickinson
Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man. - Leon Trotsky
Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. - John Wagner
Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb
Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age. - Christopher Morley
The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young. - Oscar Wilde
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores
Old age at least gives me an excuse for not being very good at things. - Thomas Sowell
Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill
Young men soon give, and soon forget, affronts; old age is slow in both. - Joseph Addison
We look forward to a disorderly, vigorous, unhonored and disreputable old age. - Don Marquis
W.C. Fields has a profound respect for old age. Especially when it's bottled. - Gene Fowler
More people would live to a ripe old age if they weren't too busy providing for it. - Unknown
There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. - John Mortimer
Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson
Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth. - W Somerset Maugham
Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do about it. - Golda Meir
When it comes to old age we're all in the same boat, only some of us have been aboard a little longer. - Leo Probst
I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe
While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal
The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm. - Aldous Huxley
I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain
May you keep dreaming until the day you die. May imagination overtake memory. May you die young at a ripe old age. - Mark Batterson
You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon
Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer
Not one of them who took up in his youth with his opinion that there are no gods ever continued until old age faithful to his conviction. - Plato
Old age is no place for sissies. - Bette Davis
Cherish youth, but trust old age. - Pueblo Proverb
I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown
I want to die young at a ripe old age. - Ashley Montagu
Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown
Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur
One of the many pleasures of old age is giving things up. - Malcolm Muggeridge
Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo
All my available funds are completely tied up in ready cash. - WC Fields
Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. - Daniel F E Auber
Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson
Old age comes on suddenly, and not gradually as is first thought. - Emily Dickinson
Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man. - Leon Trotsky
Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. - John Wagner
Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb
Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age. - Christopher Morley
The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young. - Oscar Wilde
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores
Old age at least gives me an excuse for not being very good at things. - Thomas Sowell
Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill
Young men soon give, and soon forget, affronts; old age is slow in both. - Joseph Addison
We look forward to a disorderly, vigorous, unhonored and disreputable old age. - Don Marquis
W.C. Fields has a profound respect for old age. Especially when it's bottled. - Gene Fowler
More people would live to a ripe old age if they weren't too busy providing for it. - Unknown
There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. - John Mortimer
Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson
Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth. - W Somerset Maugham
Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do about it. - Golda Meir
When it comes to old age we're all in the same boat, only some of us have been aboard a little longer. - Leo Probst
I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe
While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal
The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm. - Aldous Huxley
I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain
May you keep dreaming until the day you die. May imagination overtake memory. May you die young at a ripe old age. - Mark Batterson
You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon
Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer
Not one of them who took up in his youth with his opinion that there are no gods ever continued until old age faithful to his conviction. - Plato
Vuvuzela Hits
You Are Grounded
Crosswalk Climber
Happy ARRRRRRRHH!
City Beach Castle
Martini Shirt
Mal Nutrition
Stowaway Soccer Fan
Watch Out For Slugger
Canada Frigate
Shimmy Car-nage
Texas Cow Cleaner
DogWood
The Floater
How We Played Online Before The Internet
Sports Hernias
Redneck Power Windows
Star Wars Howl
Leaning Bookshelves
Sometimes Dads Are Wet For Work
Dad Sandwich
Months Apart
Swing Dad
Dadspiration