#1 humor site on the 'net

Boatload Interception

Canadians seeking higher pensions as illegal immigrants

Boatload Interception thanks to Barry McCartney

Navy helps to assist Canadian seniors

The Navy intercepted a boatload of people off the coast of B.C. today. This placed the Navy in an awkward position, as the boat was not heading to, but away from Canada, towards Asia.

Another surprise finding was that they were loaded with White Canadians who were all seniors of pensionable age. Their claim was that they were trying to get to Asia so as to be able to return to Canada as illegal immigrants, and therefore be entitled to far more benefits than they were receiving as legitimate Canadian pensioners.

The Navy is believed to have given them food, water and fuel, and assisted them on their journey. We are booking on the next boat out. Let me know if you want to come. Remember - you have to be over 65!

QuotaBills
To stop aging, keep on raging. - Michael Forbes

Old age is the verdict of life. - Amelia E Barr

I want to die young at a ripe old age. - Ashley Montagu

Old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Bernard Baruch

Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur

I know I can't cheat death, but I can cheat old age. - Darwin Deason

If youth had but the knowledge and old age the strength. - French Proverb

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. - Phyllis Diller

Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. - Daniel F E Auber

Old age comes on suddenly, and not gradually as is first thought. - Emily Dickinson

Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man. - Leon Trotsky

Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb

Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age. - Christopher Morley

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

Old age at least gives me an excuse for not being very good at things. - Thomas Sowell

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

I suppose real old age begins when one looks backward rather than forward. - May Sarton

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon

Sure I'm for helping the elderly. I'm going to be old myself some day. - Lillian Carter

Old age takes away what we've inherited and gives us what we've earned. - Gerald Brenan

Advanced old age is when you sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. - Eliakim Katz

Youth is the time of getting, middle age of improving, and old age of spending. - Anne Bradstreet

W.C. Fields has a profound respect for old age. Especially when it's bottled. - Gene Fowler

More people would live to a ripe old age if they weren't too busy providing for it. - Unknown

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

My comfort is, that old age, that ill layer-up of beauty, can do no more spoil upon my face. - William Shakespeare

Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth. - W Somerset Maugham

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent - that is to triumph over old age. - Thomas Bailey Aldrich

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do about it. - Golda Meir

When it comes to old age we're all in the same boat, only some of us have been aboard a little longer. - Leo Probst

I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe

Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week. - Maggie Kuhn

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. - George Burns

In old age we are like a batch of letters that someone has sent. We are no longer in the post, we have arrived. - Knut Hamsun

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm. - Aldous Huxley

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain


2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Biden in the Oval Office

Poor Fishing Day

Mustache Breeze

Chain Weave Hairstyle

Jar of Birds

Wheely Unstable

Roman Segway Chariot

Rocky Orders

Snowmobile Races - Get There Early

Pocket Change

Welcome to Texas, USPS

Not Without A Washer

Jogger's Weight Scale

Toilet Snake

Eye Testing In Progress

Parent Signature

Long Bore Gun

Bird Cam

Lost Wormhole

Where Weir'd Frogmen Jump In

Low Ceiling Workout

Dog Diner

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners