BartendHers

Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Good wine is a necessity of life. - Thomas Jefferson

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. - Addison Mizner

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

If we choose, we can live in a world of comforting illusion. - Noam Chomsky

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine. - Casablanca

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. - Phyllis Diller

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor