#1 humor site on the 'net

Bacon Sandwich

Burger 'King' just found a new competitor

Bacon Sandwich thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Cooking for large appetites

Bacon Sandwich thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Bacon is duct tape for the kitchen. - Unknown

Bacon, The source of all happiness. - Samuel V.D. Evans

Laugh a lot. It burns a lot of calories. - Jessica Simpson

I actually get quite sad when I smell bacon. - Jane Velez-Mitchell

Bacon: the main reason you are not a vegetarian. - Unknown

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

Mother-In-Law Sandwich: Cold shoulder and tongue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. - Unknown

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

Mmmm, pork chops and bacon... my two favorite animals. - Homer Simpson

Honeymoon Sandwich: Just lettuce alone, with no dressing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sandwich: An unsuccessful attempt to make both ends meat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nothing burns more calories than dancing in 5-inch heels. - Ariana Grande

I love super crispy, almost burned, snapping-crispy bacon. - David Lynch

Look a pig in its eyes, and understand the truth behind bacon. - Mango Wodzak

Even apocalypse looks less dire when viewed over a plate of bacon. - Stephanie Stamm

Bacon is going to save the world. I don't know how but it will. - Unknown

Sandwich every bit of criticism between two heavy layers of praise. - Mary Kay Ash

Even if the ball was wrapped in bacon, Lassie couldn't find it. - Unknown

If you call ham "Canadian bacon", what do you call bacon? - Michael Kelso

In Heaven, chocolate has no calories and is served as the main course. - Unknown

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard

Bacon's not the only thing that's cured by hanging from a string. - Hugh Kingsmill

Wouldn't exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them? - Bill Murray

Thank God I've got eyebrows like bacon, because I've always got egg on my face. - Jarod Kintz

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. - Doug Larson

I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry

Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence. Eat bacon. - Unknown

There's no point in wasting calories on cheap chocolate, always opt for the darkest and richest. - Nanci Rathbun

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer

I blend my green drink every morning. I also fix my son a full-on American breakfast with bacon and toast. - Liz Phair

I'm never gonna get used to the 31st century. Caffeinated bacon? Baconated grapefruit? Admiral Crunch? - Fry

Special day! Oh, what have I forgotten now? Now, don't panic. Is it Bacon Day? No, that’s crazy talk! - Homer

The pig is not just pork chops and bacon and ham to us. The pig is a co-laborer in this great land-healing ministry. - Joel Salatin

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

Calories: 1. Weight lifters; 2. Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

Snap-On Gasket Scrapper: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor


Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Wolf Mode

Undertaker Bike

Throwaway Sport Paper

Pacman Skeleton

Vatican City's New Breakfast Special

Flying Cathedral Excuse

Day At The Beach

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Amish Prom Limo

Wishy-Washy Church