Baby-Proof Christmas Tree

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Every man under his own fig tree. - Hebrew Saying

A bambiraptor is a savage baby dear. - Alan Davies

The apple will fall under the apple tree. - Greek Proverb

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

By trying often, the monkey learns to jump from the tree. - Cameroon Proverb

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

Family Tree: The only tree whose branches seek the shelter of its roots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Clients don't care about the labor pains; they want to see the baby. - Tim Williams

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Chocolate comes from coco, which is a tree - that makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad. - Unknown

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Sensitive love letters are my specialty: "Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You. P.S. I'm gay." - Homer Simpson

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon

Love is like the wild-rose briar, friendship like the holly-tree. The holly is dark when the rose-briar blooms, but which will bloom most constantly? - Emily Bronte