Baby-Proof Christmas Tree

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Newborn Baby: Fresh heir - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

The apple will fall under the apple tree. - Greek Proverb

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. - Rodney Dangerfield

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

The patriot's blood is the seed of Freedom's tree. - Thomas Campbell

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

Zealotry: 1. The enemy of idealism; 2. What a tree salesman likes to do. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. - Warren Buffett

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does. - George Bernard Shaw

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown