Aussie Bar Rules

Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

Good wine is a necessity of life. - Thomas Jefferson

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

The rules are written by the bureaucraps. - Archie Bunker

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Wine is the flower in the buttonhole of life. - Werumeus Buning

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

I never had a set of rules. Every situation is different. - Red Auerbach

If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu

Liquor talks mighty loud when it gets loose from the jug. - Joel C Harris

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Rules of society are nothing; one's conscience is the umpire. - Madame Dudevant

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy. - Joseph Cambell

Rules are made for people who aren't willing to make up their own. - Chuck Yeager

A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman

Toss out the rules; don't think outside the box, throw the box away. - Nido Qubein

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

The world can't end today, because it's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles M. Schulz

If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

Music is the only thing I've ever known that doesn't have any rules at all. - Josh Homme

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. - W Somerset Maugham

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else. - Unknown

A conservative is a man who wants the rules changed so no one can make a pile the way he did. - Gregory Nunn

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

Three rules of work: Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. - Albert Einstein

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

The rules of clockwork might apply to familiar objects such as snooker balls, but when it comes to atoms, the rules are those of roulette. - Paul Davies

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor