Aisle Cleanup

Good wine needs no vine. - French Proverb

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

Good wine is a necessity of life. - Thomas Jefferson

Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

I like being a mess. It's who I am. - Ally McBeal

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Wine is the flower in the buttonhole of life. - Werumeus Buning

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Status Quo: Latin for 'the mess we're in.' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

The three words every woman really longs to hear: I'll clean up. - Molly Shannon

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

When we traded the buffalo for a mare, we had no milk to drink, and we still had droppings to clean up. - Punjab Proverb

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fall: The season when your wife buys new winter clothes so she will have something to wear when she goes out shopping for spring outfits - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, "Who could have done this? We have no enemies." - Phyllis Diller

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster