A Wee Fit

Never insult anyone by accident. - Robert A. Heinlein

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

The bridge to the future in the phallus. - D.H. Lawrence

People use irony as a defense mechanism. - David Byrne

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain

Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas

Irony is just honesty with the volume cranked up. - George Saunders

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

Stardom isn't a profession, it's an accident. - Lauren Bacall

I'm not into cartoons. That's the irony of it. - Gary Larson

Irony is the gaiety of reflection and the joy of wisdom. - Anatole France

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. - Rodney Dangerfield

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive. - Robert A Heinlein

Irony: 1. Being witty at all costs; 2. A vegetarian catching swine flu. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Happiness is an accident of nature, a beautiful and flawless aberration. - Pat Conroy

At a time like this, scorching irony, not convincing argument, is needed. - Frederick Douglass

Humour and irony include tragedy; they're two sides of the same coin. - Maurizio Cattelan

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain

Humor is everywhere in that there's irony in just about anything a human does. - Bill Nye

Clap an extinguisher upon your irony if you are unhappily blessed with a vein of it. - Charles Lamb

Irony is a clear consciousness of an eternal agility, of the infinitely abundant chaos. - Karl W F Schlegel

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding. - Agnes Repplier

If I was the governor of New Jersey, the George Washington Bridge would not have been shut. - Donald Trump

To be born free is an accident; to live free a responsibility; to die free is an obligation. - Mrs. Hubbard Davis

Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives. - George Burns

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. - Nikita Khrushchev

The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good action by stealth, and to have it found out by accident. - Charles Lamb

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

True kitsch has nothing to do with irony. It's very honest. It represents what people like, their dreams. - Marcel Wanders

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or fortune but just yourself that kept things from you. - Lillian Hellman

The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches. - Antonin Scalia

Isn't it ironic? We ignore the ones who adore us; adore the ones who ignore us; love the ones who hurt us; and hurt the ones that love us. - Unknown

Life is too ironic to fully understand. It takes sadness to know what happiness is; noise to appreciate silence; and absence to value presence. - Unknown

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele

He had a sense of irony that ruled his life, made it impossible for him to use his considerable brains in any kind of serious job. Kind of like me. - Neal Stephenson