You May Pet Me

Colic: A sheep dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogmatic: Run by canine power. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

Subwoofer: A dog who scuba dives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Lassitude: A heroic dog with attitude - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An angry dog is best led by its tail. - Unknown

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wok The Dog: Specialty at Vietnamese Restaurants - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen. - Unknown

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

Well washed and combed domestic pets grow dull; they miss the stimulus of fleas. - Francis Galton

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Without my pets, my wallet would be full, my house would be clean, but my heart would be empty. - Unknown

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very, very few people. - James Thurber

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash