Whoop C

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A TV licence is a licence to print money. - Roy Thomson

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

There are no traffic jams on the extra mile. - Zig Ziglar

Reading can seriously damage your ignorance. - Unknown

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Diploma: 1. Da man dat fixes your pipes; 2. A job-hunting license. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

I know the guy who writes all those bumper stickers. He hates New York. - Steven Wright

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into 'get a sponge' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

Husband-hunting: A sport in which the animal that gets caught has to buy the license - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

The average auto owner drives so blamed reckless I'm glad that he does git robbed when he pays a repair bill. - Kin Hubbard

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

Lawyers were notorious for finding cases in the most unlikely places, especially ones with huge potential damage awards. - Jodi Picoult

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

It's not what we don't know that hurts us, people say. It's what we believe is true that isn't that does the damage. - Melody Beattie

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com