#1 humor site on the 'net

Wheelbarrow Races

How to get 3 vehicles past the toll booth for the price of 1

Wheelbarrow Races thanks to Roy Taylor

Bubba found a cheaper option than motorizing his garden tools

QuotaBills
Fjord: Norwegian car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Slow and steady wins the race. - Aesop

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Greyhound Trainer: A race cur driver - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Once upon a time, forests were repositories of magic for the human race. - John Burnside

Business is like a wheelbarrow - it stands still until someone pushes it. - William Feather

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. - Lily Tomlin

They invented wheelbarrows to teach FAA inspectors to walk on their hind legs. - Martin Caidin

Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world. - Mark Twain

The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

All that separates... race, class, creed, or sex, is inhuman, and must be overcome. - Kate Sheppard

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Somewhere in the world someone is training when you are not. When you race him, he will win. - Tom Fleming

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet. - Damon Runyon

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is differences of opinion that make horse races. - Mark Twain

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

Well over eighty per cent of the human race goes through life without having a single original thought. - H L Mencken

I've got something inside of me, peasantlike and stubborn, and I'm in it till the end of the race. - Truman Capote

We are going as fast as we can as soon as we can. We're in a race against time, until we run out of money. - Jack Nicholson

I have always hated machinery, and the only machine I ever understood was a wheelbarrow, and that but imperfectly. - Eric T. Bell

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

It's like running a marathon race. We train all hours of the day. When you are taking a bath, you are thinking of the flight. - Kalpana Chawla

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

The child, merely by going on with his life, learns to speak the language belonging to his race. It is like a mental chemistry that takes place in the child. - Maria Montessori

If you wait for the perfect moment when all is safe and assured, it may never arrive. Mountains will not be climbed, races won, or lasting happiness achieved. - Maurice Chevalier

Battery Electrolyte Tester: A tool for transferring sulfuric acid from a car battery to the inside of your toolbox after determining that your battery is dead as a doornail - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When you get close to race day, there's that anticipation and excitement. It's the same whatever level you're running at because the marathon is like a festival. - Paula Radcliffe

I love the way music inside a car makes you feel invisible. If you play the stereo at max volume, it's almost like the other people can't see into your vehicle. It tints your windows, somehow. - Chuck Klosterman

I'm trying very hard to understand this generation. They have adjusted the timetable for childbearing so that menopause and teaching a sixteen-year-old how to drive a car will occur in the same week. - Erma Bombeck

Medicine is the one place where all the show is stripped off the human drama. You, as doctors, will be in a position to see the human race stark naked - not only physically, but mentally and morally as well. - Martin H. Fischer


Closing Time

Wine Glass Lanyard

Awning Truck Advertising

Plugged In

Org Chart - Simplified Version

Extreme Value

Instant Acrophobia

How To Hire Engineers

Business School Basics

Waterwheel Rotisserie

Elephant Bus

Promote Yourself

Time Machine

Redneck Engagement Ring

Forever Clean Toilet

Edible Clock

Up-Set & Hungry Trucks

Bear Pinata

Swim Vacation

What Are Your Skills?

Portable Barber Shop

Snail Trail

Anger Release Machine

Pun-e Signs