#1 humor site on the 'net

Wheelbarrow Races

How to get 3 vehicles past the toll booth for the price of 1

Wheelbarrow Races thanks to Roy Taylor

Bubba found a cheaper option than motorizing his garden tools

QuotaBills
Plodding wins the race. - Aesop

Slow and steady wins the race. - Aesop

In the race for love, I was scratched. - Joan Davis

Mathematics knows no races or geographic boundaries. - David Hilbert

The Irish are a very popular race - with themselves. - Brendan Behan

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

I do not regard a broker as a member of the human race. - Honore de Balzac

It's time for the human race to enter the solar system. - Dan Quayle

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running. - Unknown

The institution of royalty in any form is an insult to the human race. - Mark Twain

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Usually a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow. - Jeremy Clarkson

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races. - Homer Simpson

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Well over eighty per cent of the human race goes through life without having a single original thought. - H L Mencken

I've got something inside of me, peasantlike and stubborn, and I'm in it till the end of the race. - Truman Capote

We are going as fast as we can as soon as we can. We're in a race against time, until we run out of money. - Jack Nicholson

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

I have always hated machinery, and the only machine I ever understood was a wheelbarrow, and that but imperfectly. - Eric T. Bell

We're all trying to keep up in this stupid race. But that won't be much fun when we're floating in space. - John Symeou

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

How many ideas have there been in the history of the human race that were unthinkable ten years before they appeared? - Fyodor Dostoevsky

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Contempt for happiness is usually contempt for other people's happiness, and is an elegant disguise for hatred of the human race. - Bertrand Russell

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Whether you live in a city or a small town, and whether you drive a car, take the bus or ride a train, at some point in the day, everyone is a pedestrian. - Anthony Foxx

My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was.
She told me, "In the lake." - Red Skelton

I take a lot of pride in the work I do, because people pay to see me. They've got to get babysitters, park their car, get popcorn and candy. I've got to be conscious of that. - Mr. T

I'm trying very hard to understand this generation. They have adjusted the timetable for childbearing so that menopause and teaching a sixteen-year-old how to drive a car will occur in the same week. - Erma Bombeck

Consider the wheelbarrow. It may lack the grace of an airplane, the speed of an automobile, the initial capacity of a freight car, but its humble wheel marked out the path of what civilization we still have. - Hal Borland


Free Gas

Wannabe Shoplifter

Breaker Bypass

Ice Hand

Invisible Homeless Man

No Muff Too Tough

Safe Removals

Yoga Business Card

Segway in Rural Norway

Mom Lookout

Dog Diner

It's Too Cold To Ride Outside

Ye Olde Simple Simon

High Tensile Snow

Target Entry

Squirrel Feeder Trap

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Florida Sewer Rat

Crane Drop

Special Touch

Muscle Control

Selfie Stuck

Organic Compromise

Crab Collection