#1 humor site on the 'net

Unknown Assailant

When testing of the Emergency Alert System is a FAIL

Unknown Assailant thanks to Barry McCartney

TV station attempts to bring anonymity to an assault suspect

QuotaBills
The unknown is ever imagined. - Greek Proverb

TV: Chewing gum for the eyes. - Frank Lloyd Wright

You are not the victim of your story. - John Gray

It's the hottest thing on television. - Donald Trump

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman. - Virginia Woolf

Be the heroine of your life, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

Mobile is a lot closer to TV than it is to desktop. - Mark Zuckerberg

Nothing is really real unless it happens on television. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Babysitters: Girls you hire to watch your television set. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Television has been the single greatest shaper of emptiness. - Ravi Zacharias

Suppose you get an attack of gastriasis in the middle of the night. - Archie Bunker

Except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did. - Robert Benchley

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television. - David Letterman

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV. - Jerry Seinfeld

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

Television Programming: Material that fills the time between commercials - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Man may be the captain of his fate, but is also the victim of his blood sugar. - Wilfrid G. Oakley

Antitoxidote cruisin' through my system looking for some disease to attack. - Archie Bunker

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other. - Ann Landers

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? - Dick Cavett

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2. - David Coleman

I wanted this to be a movie on TV so I could press the off button and make it all go away. - Michelle Rowen

So many people are on television that don't know me, and they're like experts on me. - Donald Trump

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object. - Laurence J Peter

One of the most important gifts we have in television - the ability to heal through laughter. - Soleil M Frye

Many an attack of depression is nothing but the expression of regret at having to be virtuous. - Wilhelm Stekel

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. - Milton Berle

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

Wrestlers in the U.S.A. are very aggressive. All they want to do is attack, but they'll make mistakes. - Kurt Angle

Do not attack me with your watch. A watch is always too fast or too slow. I cannot be dictated to by a watch. - Jane Austen

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. - Groucho Marx

Love, like democracy, can survive almost any attack - except neglect, indifference and maybe an arrow in the back. - Unknown

Failure isn't so bad if it doesn't attack the heart. Success is all right if it doesn't go to the head. - John C Maxwell

Thoughts are like arrows: once released, they strike their mark. Guard them well, or one day you may be your own victim. - Navajo Proverb

Indians are the second largest population in the world, but we're invisible on TV - everything is either black or white. - Russell Peters

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. - Steven Wright

Felix trembled, but he did not repent. Felix was a victim of tomorrow. If today has slain its thousands, tomorrow has slain its tens of thousands. - Clarence E Macartney

I could never have imagined that firing 67 people on national television would actually make me more popular, especially with the younger generation. - Donald Trump


Spot the K-Mart Shopper

Designer Lamp

Long Winter

2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

New 50 Pence Coin

Truck Art

Redneck Chair Repair

Bus Head Rest

How Big Was It?

Islanders

Extra Weight

Snowgazers

Happy Australia Day!

Starting Your Fireplace On The Roof

Snow Prayers

Snowbaru

Mirror Image

Hurricane Protection

Spot the Thief

Firm Egg

Winter Chair

Storage Puzzle

Training Wheels

School Nap