#1 humor site on the 'net

Underwater Smoking

Looking for a soggy cigarette?

Underwater Smoking thanks to Ed Brantly, Prince George, Virginia

Swimming notice for public safety in Minnesota

QuotaBills
Out of water, I am nothing. - Duke Kahanamoku

Courage is fire, and bullying is smoke. - Benjamin Disraeli

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea. - Janet Clarkson

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. - Mark Twain

Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone. - Alan Watts

Like water, we are truest to our nature in repose. - Cyril Connolly

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. - Fletcher Knebel

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. - Rudyard Kipling

I'd rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin. - Gwyneth Paltrow

Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb

You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. - Loren Eiseley

I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

I ran a 100-mile marathon, and I was powered by coconut water. - Jesse Itzler

Smoke detectors are basically just you-suck-at-cooking detectors. - Julius Sharpe

Leadership, like swimming, cannot be learned by reading about it. - Henry Mintzberg

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

The Wright Brothers flew through the smoke screen of impossibility. - Dorothea Brande

The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it. - Woodrow Wilson

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. - Dave Barry

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker

The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Arthur Conan Doyle


Starbucks Goes Extra Mile

Braided Mohawk

Just One More Glass

His First Hot Rod

Saskatchewan Roads

Pool Is Closed

Upended Water Buffalo

Do Not Touch Sign

Cold Beer

Grandma Safety

Partial Flight

Scenic View

Racewagon

Water Skier A-Head Of His Time

Owlympics Ice Skating

Shining Armor Knight

Smile For The Day

British Hairways

Cross Inspector

Morning Saving Time

Kangaroo On Ice

Life's Choices

Olympic Torch Bearers

Lethal Weapon