#1 humor site on the 'net

Underwater Smoking

Looking for a soggy cigarette?

Underwater Smoking thanks to Ed Brantly, Prince George, Virginia

Swimming notice for public safety in Minnesota

QuotaBills
Water rusts pipes. - WC Fields

Kettle Drum: What musicians boil water in - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Friendship is a plant we must often water. - German Proverb

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Thirst was made for water; inquiry for truth. - C S Lewis

Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone. - Alan Watts

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

Love is an exploding cigar that you willingly smoke. - Lynda Barry

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. - Rudyard Kipling

We never know the worth of water till the well is dry. - English Proverb

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. - Mitch Hedberg

This is the place to be - in the land of swimming pools. - David Hockney

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean. - G K Chesterton

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. - Loren Eiseley

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

Smoke detectors are basically just you-suck-at-cooking detectors. - Julius Sharpe

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb

The Wright Brothers flew through the smoke screen of impossibility. - Dorothea Brande

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it. - Joan Rivers

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour

When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker

The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying

Many people cycle or swim to keep trim. But if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales? - Charles Saatchi

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom. - Arthur Golden

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown


Topping The Charts

Ring Leader

Edible Rubik's Cube

If Apple Made A Car

High-Wire Act Violin

Redneck Pole Support

New iPhone - Special Delivery

QR Code Quilt

How It's Done

Animal Puns

Feather Fashion

Breast Cancer Cure

Monday Flowers

Dog Muzzle

Cocklebiddy Welcome

Tartan Headphones

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Croatian Landscaping

Help For Dead Children

Sand Carpet

Big Foot Returns to The Screen

Texas Rims

Raised By Owls

Eiffel Slide