#1 humor site on the 'net

Underwater Breathing

Why nobody swims at this pool

Underwater Breathing thanks to Dave Loewen

Where drinking water might also a bad idea

Although water is made of hydrogen and oxygen, most humans can't breath underwater. Learn why water molecules can't be absorbed by human lungs.

QuotaBills
Police do not belong in war zones. - Daniel K Moran

Laws do not persuade just because they threaten. - Seneca

Do not allow loneliness to lower your standards. - Renee Slansky

Do not try to live forever. You will not succeed. - George Bernard Shaw

I do not like work, even when somebody else is doing it. - Mark Twain

We learn from history that we do not learn from history. - Georg W F Hegel

Works of art make rules; rules do not make works of art. - Claude Debussy

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you. - Unknown

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote. - George Jean Nathan

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

I ran a 100-mile marathon, and I was powered by coconut water. - Jesse Itzler

Calm down, take a deep breath, and hold it for about 20 minutes. - Unknown

If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes. - St. Clement of Alexandra

I do not approve of anything that tampers with natural ignorance. - Oscar Wilde

People do not deserve good writing, they are so pleased with bad. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you can't sleep do not count the sheep, worship the Shepherd. - Unknown

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright

Welcome anything that comes to you, but do not long for anything else. - Andre Gide

Somewhere, behind space and time,
Is wetter water, slimier slime. - Rupert Brooke

People do not believe lies because they have to, but because they want to. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Characters do not change. Opinions alter, but characters are only developed. - Benjamin Disraeli

Animals, whom we have made our slaves, we do not like to consider our equal. - Charles Darwin

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people. - Virginia Woolf

Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water. - Swedish Proverb

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

Do not do unto others as you would they should do unto you; their tastes may not be the same. - George Bernard Shaw

If we do not believe in freedom of speech for those we despise, we do not believe in it at all. - Noam Chomsky

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

Our memories are card indexes consulted, and then put back in disorder, by authorities whom we do not control. - Cyril Connolly

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

I do not see how a man can work on the frontiers of physics and write poetry at the same time. They are in opposition. - Paul Dirac

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches. - Rainer Maria Rilke

I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed. - James Thurber

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

I do not doubt that we would become more useful if we praised God more, and others would join us, for they would see that God has blessed us. - Charles Spurgeon

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson


Nuts And Fruitcakes

Spiral Staircase

Scubaru

Nordern Minnesota Yeneral Store

Pigeon Drink

Epic Turban

Healthy Breakfast

Motorcycle Campers

Canadian Banknotes - Extreme Makeover For Toonie

Wheelchair Mower

How To Fail at Photoshopping Pictures

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Life Expectancy by Age

Construction Clouds

It's Been A Good Day

Worst Aid

Dyslexic Camper

Moon Filament

Car Dirt Art

Newfie Swimming Pool

Stoned Sign

Redneck Plumbers

Someone Stole A Cracker

Moose Pedestrian