#1 humor site on the 'net

Tree Stump Table

Better chop your own tree

Tree Stump Table thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

If you build it, some city slicker will buy it

Custom table designs and classic contemporary country furnishings where you can pay through the nose, inch by inch, for Bubba's Best

QuotaBills
Weeping Willow: Sad tree - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Keep calm and run the table. - Unknown

Palm Tree: A tree with hands - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Every man under his own fig tree. - Hebrew Saying

A little axe can cut down a big tree. - Jamaican Saying

What kind of man gives cigarettes to trees? - Robin Williams

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. - Rodney Dangerfield

Preoccupied with a single leaf you won't see the tree. - Vagabond

He knows his olive trees better than he knows his children. - Rebecca Helm-Ropelato

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. - Khalil Gibran

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus

Disbelief: How you tell someone what the green stuff on a tree is - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

Family Tree: The only tree whose branches seek the shelter of its roots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I did not literally paint that table, but the emotion it produces upon me. - Henri Matisse

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Everyone wants to eat at the government's table, but nobody wants to do the dishes. - Werner Finck

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. - Nelson Henderson

A cold wind was blowing from the north, and it made the trees rustle like living things. - George R.R. Martin

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. - Warren Buffett

A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

Bad Luck: To have thirteen people seated at the table when you’re paying for the drinks - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

It's better to fall from a tree and break your back than to fall in love and break your heart. - African Proverb

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. - John Muir

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

It's in the democratic citizen's nature to be like a leaf that doesn't believe in the tree it's part of. - David Foster Wallace

Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work. - Stephen King

If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed; if in terms of ten years, plant trees; if in terms of 100 years, teach the people. - Confucius

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

Geometry: 1. What the acorn said after it grew up; 2. A tree made up of numbers and letters; 3. Without geometry, life is pointless. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery - air, mountains, trees, people. I thought, 'This is what it is to be happy.' - Sylvia Plath

You need the kind of objectivity that makes you forget everything you've heard, clear the table, and do a factual study like a scientist would. - Steve Wozniak

Love is like the wild-rose briar, friendship like the holly-tree. The holly is dark when the rose-briar blooms, but which will bloom most constantly? - Emily Bronte


Clangeroo

Redneck Cooler

Instead Of Flowers

Mt. Rushmore from the Canadian Side

I Love Summer

Karma Towing

Salmon-chanted Evening

Hands On Tree

Fart Facts

New Medicare Program for Senior Citizens

Down Under Bat

Muffler Hanger

Construction Playground

Couch Dog vs. Paint Shop Pros

Spaghetti Tree

Take Away Van

Will To Live

Redneck Bra

Politician Plane

Millennial Jump Start

City Work Crew's Slow Day

Granny Smith Apple

Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart

Spaghetti Digest