TP Dog

France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

It never fails - you get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp. - Robin Williams

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats. - Woody Allen

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

I've got this thing for spicy stuff. Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I'm a happy girl. - Shiloh Walker

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle