Today's Bathroom Reader

Today a reader, tomorrow a leader. - Margaret Fuller

Oh, so they have internet on computers now! - Homer Simpson

The internet is a great way to get on the net. - Bob Dole

A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. - Jojen Reed

I took the initiative in creating the internet. - Al Gore

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. - Jeff Pesis

The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. - Stephen Fry

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak

The computer is down. I hope it's something serious. - Stanton Delaplane

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity. - Clifford Stoll

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

The internet turns 30 minutes of homework into 2 hours of homework. - Unknown

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. - Mitchell Kapor

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

I might love my e-reader, but I'd never pass up the chance to browse real books. - Nichole Chase

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

Keyboard: 1. Place to hang your keys; 2. The standard way to generate computer errors. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I almost sent you a real birthday card but thankfully my internet connection came back. - Unknown

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't believe in e-mail. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

I use a computer. I don't know if that qualifies me as a techie, but I'm pretty good on the computer. - Leonard Nimoy

Just as we could have rode into the sunset, along came the Internet, and it tripled the significance of the PC. - Andy Grove

People enjoy the interaction on the internet, and the feeling of belonging to a group that does something interesting. - Linus Torvalds

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

The majority of people who don't have Internet don't have the Internet because they don't know why they want to use the Internet. - Mark Zuckerberg

Cell phones, mobile e-mail, and all the other cool and slick gadgets can cause massive losses in our creative output and overall productivity. - Robin S Sharma

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney