#1 humor site on the 'net

Time Flies

Sticky clock latest gizmo to 'fly' off the shelves

Time Flies thanks to Howard Chapman

When you've got time to kill on the farm

QuotaBills
I'm sympathising my watch with yours. - Archie Bunker

My alone time is for everyone's safety. - Unknown

Social media are tools. Real time is a mindset. - David M. Scott

I don't need time. What I need is a deadline. - Duke Ellington

The hardest thing to do is win it the second time. - Red Auerbach

Her time is about 4.33, which she's capable of. - David Coleman

Hackchoo: When you sneeze and cough at the same time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

It takes a long time to bring the past up to the present. - Franklin D Roosevelt

Work expands to fill the time available for its completion. - Cyril Northcote Parkinson

Forever is a long time, but not as long as it was yesterday. - Dennis H'Orgnies

To watch 24 hours a day through them high-powered spectaculars. - Archie Bunker

He could shake your hand and stab you in the back at the same time. - Richard Nixon

I had only a little time left and I didn't want to waste it on God. - Albert Camus

I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time. - Charles Schulz

Never regret anything because at one time it was exactly what you wanted. - Unknown

Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties. - Jules Renard

Sometimes you have to play for a long time to be able to play like yourself. - Miles Davis Jr.

When nobody around you seems to measure up, it's time to check your yardstick. - Bill Lemley

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

Success is a two-bladed golden sword - it knights one and stabs one at the same time. - Mae West

Winning is coming in fourth, exhausted but excited because you came in fifth last time. - Denis Waltley

A recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation. - Madame Benoit

There are a lot of things happening that show us that this, right now, is a time to love. - Stevie Wonder

Writing is mentally stimulating; it's like a puzzle that makes you think all the time. - Stephanie Zimbalist

The man who keeps busy helping the man below him won't have time to envy the man above him. - Henrietta Mears

You can't dance at two weddings at the same time; nor can you sit on two horses with one behind. - Yiddish Proverb

Unless you devote an enormous amount of time to anticipating the future, you won't have any future. - Ron Chernow

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public. - Douglas Coupland

Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you. - Unknown

I've come to learn that the best time to debate family members is when they have good in their mouths. - Kenneth Cole

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

A great many people, and more all the time, live their entire lives without ever once sleeping out under the stars. - Alan S. Kesselheim

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning. - John Barrymore

Canada's political parties spend a few years in opposition and then govern as if it's permanent payback time. - Bob Rae

The Republicans have all of the cards. And this is the time to get rid of Obamacare. This is the time to make the great deal. - Donald Trump

Nobody sees a flower, really - it is so small - we haven't time, and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time. - Georgia O'Keefe

The ideas that have lighted my way and, time after time, have given me new courage to face life cheerfully have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth. - Albert Einstein

More people watch television and get their information that way than read books. I find new technology and new ways of communication very exciting. - Stephen Covey

We spend precious hours fearing the inevitable. It would be wise to use that time adoring our families, cherishing our friends and living our lives. - Maya Angelou


Jack-A-Lope vs Jack-E-Lope

Urleen

Carry On or Carrion?

Selfie Pilot

Monarch Butterflies - Starting a Monarchy

Air Couch

Europe Road Trip

Thongthing Special

Nighttime Graffiti

Baby Formula

Kid Suction

Redneck Moving Truck

Critter Control

Lost Dog

Nail Chair

Looking For Something?

Yellow Pet

Race Break

Fuse Bypass

Good Boy

British Tea Party

Roadside Assistance

Chair Boy

Cheers Beer