#1 humor site on the 'net

Time Flies

Sticky clock latest gizmo to 'fly' off the shelves

Time Flies thanks to Howard Chapman

When you've got time to kill on the farm

QuotaBills
The future comes one day at a time. - Dean Acheson

Old men are children for a second time. - Aristophanes

Watchdog: Animal that keeps the best time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In my mind I'm a blind man doin' time. - Tupac Shakur

Tomorrow is often the busiest time of the year. - Spanish Proverb

Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend. - Theophrastus

Of all times in time of war the press should be free. - William Borah

An unhurried sense of time is in itself a form of wealth. - Bonnie Friedman

It takes a long time to bring the past up to the present. - Franklin D Roosevelt

Work expands to fill the time available for its completion. - Cyril Northcote Parkinson

Come what may, time and hour runs through the roughest day. - William Shakespeare

When was the last time you did something for the first time? - Unknown

Is 'ugh' an emotion? Because I feel it all the time. - Unknown

Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity. - Albert Einstein

If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile. - Lynda Barry

On Easter Day the veil between time and eternity thins to gossamer. - Douglas Horton

It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. - Scott Elledge

Time is a vindictive bandit to steal the beauty of our former selves. - Raphael

No, no! The adventures first, explanations take such a dreadful time. - Lewis Carroll

Success is simple. Do what's right, the right way, at the right time. - Arnold H Glasow

An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. - Victor Hugo

A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of trouble. - Adlai Stevenson

Lack of direction, not lack of time, is the problem. We all have twenty-four hour days. - Zig Ziglar

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

Live as if you were living a second time, and as though you had acted wrongly the first time. - Viktor Frankl

The ballet toe shoe is one of the few instruments of torture to survive intact into our time. - Unknown

Every time you tear a leaf off a calendar, you present a new place for new ideas and progress. - Charles Kettering

'Next time!' In what calendar are kept the records of those next times which never come? - Helen Hunt Jackson

A person is always startled when he hears himself seriously called an old man for the first time. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan

Smell is a long-distance sense, a way of stretching time and finding out in advance what lies ahead. - Lyall Watson

Even if you don't have time for a big workout, stretching in the morning and night really changes your body. - Erin Heatherton

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. - Sydney J Harris

New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time. - James Agate

Audiences everywhere are tough. They don't have time to be bored or brow beaten by orthodox, old fashioned advertising. - Craig Davis

Spend your time with those who love you unconditionally, not with those who love you only when the condition is right for them. - Unknown

Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct these defects. - Herodotus

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill


Hyphenated Names

Indian Fish Pond

Lunch Anyone?

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Giraffe Lunch

Bathroom Celebration

Tennis Ball Retriever

One

Tonsil Ring

Brew Haul-her - 12 Brewskies At A Time

Anon-y-moose

Redneck Beer Opener

Greek Monk

Dates For Everyone

Max Occupancy Rounded to 100

Group Photo

Awning Truck Advertising

Harley Load

Face To Face

Who Needs Physics?

Benched Puppies

Water Relief

Shot Glasses

Men in Denim