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Texas Womanhood

You're only helpless when your nail polish is wet

Texas Womanhood thanks to Jim Serritella

Down South Lessons in Womanhood

QuotaBills
Women Liberteens - Archie Bunker

Dull women have immaculate homes. - Unknown

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

Women should be obscene and not heard. - Groucho Marx

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. - John Gray

Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

I was with book, as a woman is with child. - C S Lewis

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman. - Virginia Woolf

He who looketh upon a woman loseth a fender. - Auto repair shop

Birthquake: A woman's contractions during labor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Jade: A semi-precious stone or a semi-precious woman - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Widowhood: The proof that women live longer than men - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A weeping man and a smiling woman are not to be trusted. - Indian Proverb

The smiles of a pretty woman are the tears of the purse. - Italian Proverb

We're women. We have a double standard to live up to. - Ally McBeal

Irene Lorenzo, queen of the Women's Lubrication Movement. - Archie Bunker

I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed. - Henny Youngman

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

The three words every woman really longs to hear: I'll clean up. - Molly Shannon

How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them. - Groucho Marx

On one issue at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women. - H L Mencken

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Women give us solace, but if it were not for women we would never need solace. - Don Herold

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it. - Evan Esar

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

Women have a hard enough time in this world; telling them the truth would be too cruel. - H L Mencken

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women access to the mainstream of society. - Rush Limbaugh

Beauty Parlor: 1. A place where women curl up and dye; 2. A place where everybody knows your MANE. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me. - George Bernard Shaw

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman. - Woody Allen

Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. - Oscar Wilde

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

Part of the reason that men seem so much less loving than women is that men's behavior is measured with a feminine ruler. - Francesca M. Cancian

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman - it depends on how much happiness you can handle. - George Burns

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene


SailBite Ride - Swimming Not Advised

Aisle Cleanup

His Dent

Car Surgeon

Slamming On Your Brakes

Need A Cigarette?

CardboardZilla

Weather Rock - For Accurate Forecasts

Water Taxi

Acapulco Waterfront Property

Just Blew It

Wouldn't want to scratch that fancy bed liner

Lunch Break

Digging One's Own Grave

See The Difference?

Gas and Dash

OctoMask

Bird on a Wire (past tense)

Workplace Hazards in Tasmania

Tiger On A Roll

Men's Golf Rules

Where Did He Go?

Sudden Invented Syndrome

Calculus Drinks