Texas Womanhood

Put the light out, and all women are alike. - German Proverb

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman. - Virginia Woolf

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

Behind every good woman is a lot of chocolate. - Unknown

Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior. - Socrates

A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her age. - Voltaire

As Unto The Bow The Cord Is, So Unto The Man Is Woman - Longfellow

Women like silent men, they think they're listening. - George Carlin

All women are crazy, it's only a question of degree. - WC Fields

Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse. - H L Mencken

Mouse: An animal which strews its path with fainting women. - Ambrose Bierce

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. - Woodrow Wyatt

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age. - George Burns

Surely a pretty woman never looks prettier than when making tea. - Mary E. Braddon

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason. - Stanley Baldwin

Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream. - Mark Twain

I am a woman meant for a man, but I never found a man who could compete. - Bette Davis

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

There are worse occupations in this world than feeling a woman's pulse. - Laurence Sterne

No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating. - Oscar Wilde

Menopause is our chance to say, "I am woman - open a freaking window." - Unknown

Enthusiasm is a vital element toward the individual success of every man or woman. - Conrad Hilton

When I passed 40 I dropped pretence, 'cause men like women who got some sense. - Maya Angelou

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be made at me for saying that. - Mitch Hedberg

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping. - Rita Rudner

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

From a shy, timid girl I had become a woman of resolute character, who could no longer be frightened by the struggle with troubles. - Anna Dostoevsky

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

Every man and woman is born into the world to do something unique and distinctive, and if he or she does not do it, it will never be done. - Benjamin E. Mays

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in. - Casey Stengel

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." - Steven Wright

A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills. They'd make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while. - Robin Williams

Under the present circumstances, I would rather be a lap dancer than a woman MP - the hours are better and unruly male members are shown the door. - Allison Pearson

A woman with confidence is hypnotic. A smile is mesmerizing. Presence, openness, a sense of humor - these are all things that make a woman attractive. - Jessica Ortner