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Texas Holiday Lights

Bubba lights up his Christmas tree with jingle bells and shotgun shells

Texas Holiday Lights thanks to Keith Blake

Soon to be discontinued on the Duck Dynasty Christmas Wish List

QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Gun Control: Using both hands - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Texas is as odd as it is vast. - Henry Rollins

Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

The people of Texas want us to secede! - William Clements

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind. - William Shakespeare

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

Guns have only two enemies - rust and politicians. - Unknown

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins

Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons. - Ruth Ann Schabacker

Shooting Star: A famous actor who uses his gun too often - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Kyle Chandler

Those gifts are ever the most acceptable which the giver has made precious. - Ovid

There's something fundamentally wrong with bringing a knife to a gun fight. - Sean Connery

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. - Jensen Ackles

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Any gun in the hands of a decent person is no threat to anybody, except bad people. - Charlton Heston

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

The purpose of life is to discover your gifts, and the meaning of life is to give them away. - Martin Seligman

Like trying a man's finger for having pulled the trigger of a gun which murdered someone. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

The policemen or soldiers are only a gun in the establishments hand. They make the racist secure in his racism. - Huey Newton

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

Pride causes us to use our gifts as though they came from ourselves, not benefits received from God, and to usurp our benefactor's glory. - Bernard of Clairvaux

I not only knew Houdini, but we had a very lovely relationship. I really though we had something going, and then the son of a gun disappeared. - Betty White


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