Texas Christmas Tree

A little axe can cut down a big tree. - Jamaican Saying

The people of Texas want us to secede! - William Clements

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins

By trying often, the monkey learns to jump from the tree. - Cameroon Proverb

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. - Khalil Gibran

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

I ordered a bed from IKEA and they sent me a tree trunk and a saw. - Eileen Curtright

Vegetarian: an old Indian word for "doesn't hunt well." - Paul Harvey

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

Family Tree: The only tree whose branches seek the shelter of its roots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

If the hunter comes back with mushrooms, don't ask him how his hunt was. - Ghanaian Proverb

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. - Jensen Ackles

Husband-hunting: A sport in which the animal that gets caught has to buy the license - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Though so trifling, the success of our first Buffalo hunt gave us quite a social lift. - Ernest T. Seton

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. - Warren Buffett

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. - Tim Vine

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

It's in the democratic citizen's nature to be like a leaf that doesn't believe in the tree it's part of. - David Foster Wallace

When you hunt animals, you may succeed or not. But when you open the fridge, you will succeed a hundred percent of the time. - Nora Volkow

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown