Texas Christmas Tree

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

Vegetarian: an old Indian word for "doesn't hunt well." - Paul Harvey

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does. - George Bernard Shaw

It's in the democratic citizen's nature to be like a leaf that doesn't believe in the tree it's part of. - David Foster Wallace

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

When you hunt animals, you may succeed or not. But when you open the fridge, you will succeed a hundred percent of the time. - Nora Volkow

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Lord Francis Bacon