Texas Christmas Tree

Olfactory: Texas petroleum refinery - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

By trying often, the monkey learns to jump from the tree. - Cameroon Proverb

Head Hunter: The person to see if you have lost your head - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

When you think about a walking tree, laughter is the response. - John Rhys-Davies

I ordered a bed from IKEA and they sent me a tree trunk and a saw. - Eileen Curtright

Family Tree: The only tree whose branches seek the shelter of its roots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Zealotry: 1. The enemy of idealism; 2. What a tree salesman likes to do. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

If the hunter comes back with mushrooms, don't ask him how his hunt was. - Ghanaian Proverb

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

Someone told me I was immature. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house now? - Unknown

Husband-hunting: A sport in which the animal that gets caught has to buy the license - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. - Warren Buffett

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't even know where Sandwiches live. - Bill Murray

The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell

My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. - Tim Vine

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

I am getting to an age when I can only enjoy the last sport left. It is called 'hunting for your spectacles.' - Edward Grey

When you hunt animals, you may succeed or not. But when you open the fridge, you will succeed a hundred percent of the time. - Nora Volkow

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown