#1 humor site on the 'net

Synchronized Swimming Dogs

Bubba's road rut maintenance crew

Synchronized Swimming Dogs thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Pond canine-ites

QuotaBills
Just keep swimming. - Finding Nemo

Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Happiness is a warm puppy. - Charles Schulz

Dogmatic: Run by canine power. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

Dyspupsia: Being sick as a dog. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Southpaw: A dog who is left-handed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too? - George Carlin

Dogs come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts. - Unknown

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool. - L.M. Boyd

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

If we growl all day we're likely to feel dog tired at night. - Amish Saying

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

One of my goals in life is to have the biggest residential pool on the planet. - Drake

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be fish. - Ovid

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

I keep fit. Every morning, I do a hundred laps of an Olympic-sized swimming pool - in a small motor launch. - Peter Cook

For a great gaming experience, make sure the rails, cushion and slate of the pool table are of the best quality. - Unknown

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake? - Dylan Moran

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Snap-On Gasket Scrapper: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz


Cruising Advice

Cat Dugout

Open Drive Through

Secret Revealed

Tired Flagpole

Bent Car Sculpture

Cow Jacket

Thanks For Noticing

Overflow Truck Garden

Beach Sign Training

Encouraging Seal

GMC Pool

Nature Calls

You're Home Early

New Nail Gun

Long Noodles

EMS Upgrade

No Pot Of Gold

Graduation Swag

Monkeypox

Pre-Dinner Photography

Curses, Foiled Again

Ant Virus

Sidewalk Malt Melt