#1 humor site on the 'net

Swiss Army Mega Tools

Expanding the usefulness of a simple pocket knife

Swiss Army Mega Tools thanks to Howard Chapman

Getting ready for the next Boy Scout camp: Knife and sword store business on cutting edge

QuotaBills
Salivation Army - Archie Bunker

Spoils Of War: Army food - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An army marches on its stomach. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Drill Sergeant: An army dentist. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Necessity makes the best soldiers. - Josephus

I am not a politician, but a soldier. - Idi Amin

Honeycomb: Hair styling tool used by bees - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We must use time as a tool, not as a crutch. - John F Kennedy

Social media are tools. Real time is a mindset. - David M. Scott

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. - Groucho Marx

I now close my military career and just fade away. - Douglas MacArthur

The man who has a full set of tools has no children. - Unknown

Soldiers win the battles and generals get the credit. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. - Marechal Ferdinand Foch

The dead soldier's silence sings our national anthem. - Aaron Kilbourn

The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars. - William Westmoreland

We come not to mourn our dead soldiers, but to praise them. - Francis A Walker

Only the knife knows what goes on in the heart of a pumpkin. - Simone Schwarz-Bart

Where some states have an army, the Prussian army has a state. - Voltaire

Music is the tool to express life - and all that makes a difference. - Herbie Hancock

Troubles are often the tools by which God fashions us for better things. - Henry Ward Beecher

There's something fundamentally wrong with bringing a knife to a gun fight. - Sean Connery

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime. - Alphonse Allais

Communications tools don't get socially interesting until they get technologically boring. - Clay Shirky

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. - Billy Connolly

Moses was the greatest legislator and the commander in chief of perhaps the first liberation army. - Elie Wiesel

The first who was king was a fortunate soldier: Who serves his country well has no need of ancestors. - Voltaire

Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen

I could juggle anything in my day: balls, cigar boxes, knives. But I could never juggle my income tax. - WC Fields

I didn't know that painters and writers retired. They're like soldiers – they just fade away. - Lawrence Ferlinghetti

Our Age of Anxiety is, in great part, the result of trying to do today's jobs with yesterday's tools. - Marshall McLuhan

The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him. - G K Chesterton

The policemen or soldiers are only a gun in the establishments hand. They make the racist secure in his racism. - Huey Newton

Laughter is a great way to diffuse an uncomfortable situation, so I began to use that as a tool, throughout my life. - Romancy Malco

E-Z Out Bolt and Stud Extractor: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is 10 times harder than any known drill bit. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Tar Arns: (Southern) A tool employed in changing wheels. Usage: 'You cain't change a tar without a tar arn' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Tension: 1. The price you pay for being a race horse instead of a plow horse; 2. What the sergeant shouts to his soldiers. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Life is a child playing around your feet, a tool you hold firmly in your grip, a bench you sit down upon in the evening, in your garden. - Jean Anouilh

Cell phones, mobile e-mail, and all the other cool and slick gadgets can cause massive losses in our creative output and overall productivity. - Robin S Sharma


Business School Basics

Waterwheel Rotisserie

Elephant Bus

Promote Yourself

Time Machine

Redneck Engagement Ring

Forever Clean Toilet

Edible Clock

Up-Set & Hungry Trucks

Bear Pinata

Swim Vacation

What Are Your Skills?

Portable Barber Shop

Snail Trail

Anger Release Machine

Pun-e Signs

Wake Me At Noon

Pringle Art

Lodge Welcome

Holstein or Holestein?

Dead Poirot

Restroom Fragrance

Word Puzzle Clock

Scenic Western Pennsylvania