Super Bowl XLVI Security

Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth

Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs. - Mitch Hedberg

Fan Belt: What a soccer fan uses to keep his trousers up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become. - Mary McGrory

Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert

There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin

Guns don't kill people. Dads with pretty daughters kill people. - Unknown

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck

Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson

All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus

Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. - Helen Keller

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

I do not think there is any silver bullet to solving the technology side of the security equation. - John W. Thompson

I started out as a football player. I liked to inflict pain. In basketball, it was the same thing. - Shaquille O'Neal

Hard work is the soundest investment. It provides a neat security for your widow's next husband. - Unknown

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

May I never be drunk enough to try to play a foosball table alone like that dude over there who actually is. - Dr. Okay Times

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James F. Bymes

If you can't even acknowledge that you have to fix social security, that's not a very good starting point. - Rob Portman

People confuse amassing money with security, but it is not so. What a pity to confuse real security with making money. - Billy Graham

Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally. - Alfred Hitchcock

Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas. - Joseph Stalin

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

I listened to a football coach who spoke straight from the shoulder - at least I could detect no higher origin in anything he said. - Dixon R Fox

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden

I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single. - Tiny Tim

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy