Split Screen Viewing

Fishing Show: Reel-life TV. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

TV: Chewing gum for the eyes. - Frank Lloyd Wright

The vertizontal hold on the TV. - Archie Bunker

Television is democracy at its ugliest. - Paddy Chayefsky

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover! - Homer Simpson

Television has raised writing to a new low. - Samuel Goldwyn

Imitation is the sincerest form of television. - Fred Allen

Television proves that sight has a definite odor. - Gerald F Lieberman

Mobile is a lot closer to TV than it is to desktop. - Mark Zuckerberg

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

Nothing is really real unless it happens on television. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Life doesn't imitate art; it imitates bad television. - Woody Allen

Babysitters: Girls you hire to watch your television set. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sex on television can't hurt you - unless you fall off. - Unknown

Let's bask in television's warm, glowing, warming glow. - Homer Simpson

It's very nearly impossible to tell the truth in television. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we've got television. - Archie Bunker

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television. - Victoria Wood

Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight? - Al Boliska

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows. - Woody Allen

I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts. - Orson Welles

I wanted this to be a movie on TV so I could press the off button and make it all go away. - Michelle Rowen

So many people are on television that don't know me, and they're like experts on me. - Donald Trump

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object. - Laurence J Peter

One of the most important gifts we have in television - the ability to heal through laughter. - Soleil M Frye

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth. - Archie Bunker

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. - Milton Berle

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

There is no way you can get people to believe you on screen if they know who you really are through television. - Jack Nicholson

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

Why something in the public interest such as television news can be fought over, like a chain of hamburger stands, eludes me. - Jimmy Breslin

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home. - David Frost

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. - Steven Wright