Split Screen Viewing

The vertizontal hold on the TV. - Archie Bunker

A TV licence is a licence to print money. - Roy Thomson

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover! - Homer Simpson

Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me! - Homer Simpson

Television proves that sight has a definite odor. - Gerald F Lieberman

Mobile is a lot closer to TV than it is to desktop. - Mark Zuckerberg

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

Nothing is really real unless it happens on television. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare. - Fred Allen

Bed is like the womb, only drier and with better TV reception. - Linda Richman

Let's bask in television's warm, glowing, warming glow. - Homer Simpson

Canadian cities looked the way American cities did on television. - William Gibson

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare. - Fred Allen

When your wife asks what's on TV, dust is not the right answer. - Unknown

TV is simply a place where people go when they get tired of thinking. - Kevin Devitte

I think Les Moonves is the most highly overrated person in television. - Donald Trump

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV. - Jerry Seinfeld

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. - Dave Barry

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

So long as there's a jingle in your head, television isn't free. - Jason Love

Television: a medium. So called because it's neither rare nor well done. - Ernie Kovacs

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other. - Ann Landers

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows. - Woody Allen

I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts. - Orson Welles

If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobel

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2. - David Coleman

I chose the Egyptian dream: the dream to make a TV show, and then be called an infidel by the end. - Bassem Youssef

Television was not intended to make human beings vacuous, but it is an emanation of their vacuity. - Malcolm Muggeridge

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public. - Douglas Coupland

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. - Milton Berle

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base. - William Arthur Ward

One of television's great contributions is that it brought murder back into the home, where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

You've probably got a device on you that can shoot decent video, so what's stopping you? Capture and share some moments. - Steve Garfield

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. - Steven Wright

What brought me into the TV business is what keeps me here and happy. You can learn something new every day if you have a really positive attitude. - Katie Couric

I could never have imagined that firing 67 people on national television would actually make me more popular, especially with the younger generation. - Donald Trump