#1 humor site on the 'net

Split Personality Ad

Backwards ad campaign reverses model appeal

Split Personality Ad thanks to Barry McCartney

Miss-placed advertising

QuotaBills
I discourage a cult of personality. - Newt Gingrich

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

To play billiards well is a sign of ill-spent youth. - Charles Roupell

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

Until they split off into all them other denumerations. - Archie Bunker

The art of communication is the language of leadership. - James Humes

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. - Terry Pratchett

We must interpret a bad temper as a sign of inferiority. - Alfred Adler

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

The power of forgiveness transcends personal relationships. - Eric Metaxas

Dancing is like bank robbery - it takes split second timing. - Twyla Tharp

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

Changes in language often reflect the changing values of a culture. - Ravi Zacharias

The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so. - Gore Vidal

Silence is the language of God; it is also the language of the heart. - Sivananda

Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper. - Thomas Jefferson

A great many people think that polysyllables are a sign of intelligence. - Barbara Walters

The most powerful leadership tool you have is your own personal example. - John Wooden

It is often a sign of wit not to show it, and not to see that others want it. - Suzanne Necker

No personal consideration should stand in the way of performing a public duty. - Ulysses S Grant

When you pray for anyone you tend to modify your personal attitude toward him. - Norman Vincent Peale

I got something important here to read and sign and I gotta consecrate on that. - Archie Bunker

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut. - Sam Rayburn

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

To be satisfied with yourself is a sure sign that your forward motion has stopped. - Unknown

The secret of having a personal life is not answering too many questions about it. - Joan Collins

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth. - Blaise Pascal

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. - Jerry M Wright

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I don't like to share my personal life... it wouldn't be personal if I shared it. - George Clooney

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? - Albert Einstein

Integrity is choosing your thoughts and actions based on values rather than personal gain. - Unknown

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are so very mean. - Zach Galifianakis

Authenticity, honesty, and personal voice underlie much of what's successful on the Web. - Rich Lenall

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in... it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

I invite everyone to choose forgiveness rather than division, teamwork over personal ambition. - Jean-Francois Cope

Character is better than ancestry, and personal conduct is of more importance than the highest. - Thomas J. Barnardo

Talking business disgusts me. If you want to talk business, call my disgusting personal manager. - Sylvester Stallone

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

Human language appears to be a unique phenomenon, without significant analogue in the animal world. - Noam Chomsky

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. - Woody Allen

It's a sign of age if you feel like the morning after the night before and you haven't been anywhere. - Unknown

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Bill Watterson

I wouldn't pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands. - Bill Murray

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Pain is a sign that we are alive. Problems are a sign that we are strong. Prayer is a sign that we are not alone. - Unknown

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

Very few of these panic-mongers have any personal knowledge of the countries that are already under blackshirt government. - Lord Rothermere

Freedom is a personal and lonely battle; and one faces down the fears of today so that those of tomorrow might be engaged. - Alice Walker

Forgiveness is a way of opening up the doors again and moving forward, whether it's a personal life or a national life. - Hillary Clinton

Don't be afraid of being scared. To be afraid is a sign of common sense. Only complete idiots are not afraid of anything. - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

The diamond may adorn royalty, regardless of personal worth; but jewels of thought render even poverty illustrious and sublime. - Gems for the Fireside

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

Desire is the key to motivation. It is the key to develop a healthy personality and a positive attitude towards oneself and others. - Amit Abraham

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

The essential element in personal magnetism is a consuming sincerity - an overwhelming faith in the importance of the work one has to do. - Bruce Barton

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Abundance and vigor of automatic movements are desirable, and even a considerable degree of restlessness is a good sign in young children. - G Stanley Hall

Freedom comes only to those who no longer ask of life that it shall yield them any of those personal goods that are subject to the mutations of time. - Bertrand Russell


Spray-On Clothing

Bright Bookshelf

Saddle Surprise

Politicians Be Like

Senior Aerobics

Foiled Again

Redneck Beer Hunter

Pair Produce

Potting Pot

Ice Cream Burqa

Dog Soother

Fourk

Women's Outhouse

Crocodile Floor

Hummer Carriage

Antler Switch Plate

Redneck Cotter Pin

Redneck Bulldozer

Your Fly Is Down

Chili Rub

Tire Rotation

Political Promise Hauler

Steering Wheel For Couples

Confined By Walls