#1 humor site on the 'net

Speed Bmup

Some road signs need instructions

Speed Bmup thanks to Gwen Enock

The origin of 'BMUP Scotty' backwards road signs

QuotaBills
Too clever is dumb. - Ogden Nash

Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

Facts are stupid things. - Ronald Reagan

There are no dumb customers. - Peter F Drucker

Love is being stupid together. - Paul Valery

Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal. - Leo Tolstoy

OK, so what's the speed of dark? - Steven Wright

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead! - David Farragut

I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid. - Terry Bradshaw

Goose Bumps: To keep geese from speeding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Speed is life. Altitude is life insurance. - Unknown

Speed is not a priority, just enjoy your hike. - Barry Putra

There is more to life than increasing its speed. - Mahatma Gandhi

The speed of a runaway horse counts for nothing. - Jean Cocteau

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. - Voltaire

You can't fix stupid - not even with duct tape. - Unknown

Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. - John Wayne

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Walter Mondale has all the charisma of a speed bump. - Will Durst

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy. - Von Clausewitz

I am not a speed reader.
I am a speed understander. - Isaac Asimov

Know your lines and don't bump into the furniture. - Spencer Tracy

The speed of the leader determines the rate of the pack. - Wayne Lukas

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid. - George Bernard Shaw

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones. - Unknown

I was deaf and dumb and blind to all but me, myself and I. - Loretta Young

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. - Steven Wright

We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid. - Benjamin Franklin

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

People think a Muslim has to have a turban or a big beard. It's stupid. - T-Pain

In a democracy the majority has every right to act as stupid as the minority. - Frank Dane

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid. - Dorothy Parker

Don't feel stupid if you don't like what everyone else pretends to love. - Emma Watson

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

You don't have to be smart to laugh at farts, but you have to be stupid not to. - Louis C.K.

A great athlete does not come from muscle, speed, and skill, but from the mind first. - Dan E. Welker

Do not be afraid to ask dumb questions; they are easier to handle than dumb mistakes. - Unknown

A word to the wise ain't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need the advice. - Bill Cosby

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. - Bill Cosby

To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it. - George Bernard Shaw

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you already knew. - Unknown

If you think your boss is stupid remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was smarter. - Albert Grant

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. - George Carlin

Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. - George Carlin

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. - Sam Levenson

Good friends are like shock absorbers. They help you take the lumps and bumps on the road of life. - Frank Tyger

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

Although I am not stupid, the mathematical side of my brain is like dumb notes upon a damaged piano. - Margot Asquith

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

I think the shocking thing to discover is the owls are not stupid and very feral, very hard to train. - Robbie Coltrane

The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid. - Jane Austen

Free trade is terrible. Free trade can be wonderful if you have smart people. But we have stupid people. - Donald Trump

A man must be both stupid and uncharitable who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side. - Joseph Addison

The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive, but do not forget. - Thomas Szasz

The secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience so they believe they are clever as he. - Karl Kraus

Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. - Elizabeth Gilbert

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. - Mark Twain

We're all trying to keep up in this stupid race. But that won't be much fun when we're floating in space. - John Symeou

The fundamental cause of trouble in the world is that the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt. - Bertrand Russell

At the end of a marathon, it's going to hurt whether you're speeding up or slowing down. You may as well push. - Summer Sanders

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork. - Mark Twain

Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. - Woody Allen

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

Long runs improve your endurance but shorter intervals improve your speed. They are mutually beneficial for a distance runner. - Eliud Kipchoge

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. - Jim Henson

The talk you hear about adapting to change is not only stupid, it's dangerous. The only way you can manage change is to create it. - Peter F Drucker

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering, stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them. - Dylan Moran

Living in the past is a dull and lonely business; looking back strains the neck muscles, causes you to bump into people not going your way. - Edna Ferber


World's Hardest Golf Shot

Safe Bike

Donut Hole History

Church Flight

Jews: The Revenge

Israel Security

Breakfast In Bed

Antler Field

Redneck Stove Burner

Texas Earrings

A Man's Life

Dog Walker

New Zealand Prepares For War

Window Washing Daredevil

Aussie Ford Coupe

Pushing The Envelope

Window Fall Repair

Bacon Balls

Tiny Forest

Inside Loo View

Finally 21

Diet Swing

Vealy Big Meal

Just Like Grandpa