QuotaBillsLap Top: Where little kids feel comfy - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern
Joy Ride: Going somewhere without the kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Germs: The only things kids will share freely - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Eat: What kids do between meals, but not at them - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Juvenile Delinquency: Modern term for what we did as kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson
So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien
My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield
We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley
A meal without cheese is like a beautiful woman who lacks an eye. - Jean A Brillat-Savarin
Jackpot: When all the kids stay at friends' homes for the night - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
As a kid, I got three meals a day. Oatmeal, miss-a-meal and no meal. - Mr. T
Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher
Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown
Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. - Unknown
Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson
Couch Potato: What Mom finds under the sofa cushions after the kids eat dinner - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez
People want honest, flavourful food, not some show-off meal that takes days to prepare. - Ted Allen
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal. - Groucho Marx
Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler
If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault
Because: Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be explained logically - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore
I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer
You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan
When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller
Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow. - Alice M Swaim
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor
Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. - Bill Gates
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer