#1 humor site on the 'net

Smooth Peanut Butter

If you didn't have peanut allergies before, you will now

Smooth Peanut Butter thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Where peanuts take a rest

QuotaBills
Each day has a color, a smell. - Chitra B. Divakaruni

Thank heavens it hath no smell. - George F. Handel

His impromptus smell of the lamp. - Pytheas

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker

Jiffy: One metric ton of peanut butter - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love your enemy - it'll drive him nuts. - Unknown

I love the smell of rain and growing things. - Serina Hernandez

God gives the nuts, but He does not crack them. - German proverb

I consider exercise vulgar. It makes people smell. - Alec Yuill-Thornton

Perfume: Any smell that is used to drown a worse one. - Elbert Hubbard

He has diarrhoea of words and a constipation of ideas. - Unknown

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

Men cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter. - James A Garfield

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. - Homer Simpson

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt. - Margaret Atwood

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

Doughnuts: 1. Rolling Scones; 2. The only nuts with holes in them. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. - Charlie Brown

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

Make a tamale with peanut butter and jelly. Go ahead! Somebody will eat it. - Bobby Flay

I need God's grace and something baked with peanut butter and chocolate. - Gloria Furman

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

After you cut off a person's nose there is no point in giving him a rose to smell. - Ravi Zacharias

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

Smell is a long-distance sense, a way of stretching time and finding out in advance what lies ahead. - Lyall Watson

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup. - H L Mencken

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair

This is what I grew up on in Alsace. It's choucroute. I'd wake up every morning with the smell of cabbage and potatoes and pork. - Jean-Georges Vongerichten

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi


Drawn To Curiosity

Redneck Cook

Owl Friends

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Economy Hit Hard

Baby Sidecar

Useless Fire Extinguishers

Diamond Ring TP

Senior's Paddle Surfboard

Fat to Fit

Jumping The Gun

Owl Rotation

Weakest Part

Wine Secret

Living Inside a Garbage Truck

Zebra Bus Stop

Egyptian Pyramid Scheme

Owl Skeleton

Mexorcist

Vegetarian MissSteak

VW Owner

Zoo Invitation

Robbie Knievel Tickets

Carb Cutter