Slum Penthouse

A good home must be made, not bought. - Joyce Maynard

Art is a house that tries to be haunted. - Emily Dickinson

Marrying is easy - it's housework that's hard. - Proverb

While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home. - Unknown

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I still close my eyes and go home... I can always draw from that. - Dolly Parton

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

It's very hard to make a home for a man if he's always in it. - Winifred Kirkland

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

A bright person can always think of something better to do than housework. - Ruby Lou Barnhill

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak. - Tom Robbins

Preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known. - Carl Sagan

I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. - Steven Wright

The summer movies are coming out! My advice: just stay home and burn a good book. - Stephen Colbert

Housework is work directly opposed to the possibility of human self-actualization. - Ann Oakley

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller

Strength of character may be learned at work, but beauty of character is learned at home. - Henry Drummond

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

Home life as we understand it is no more natural to us than a cage is natural to a cockatoo. - George Bernard Shaw

Maybe I'd like to run around the house in my drawers, and with her here, I felt inhabited. - Archie Bunker

Crafting fills my life, and my closets, and my drawers, and every empty tote bag in the house. - Unknown

Without my pets, my wallet would be full, my house would be clean, but my heart would be empty. - Unknown

Said the daughter: "I don't have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how." - Unknown

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family. - Anita Baker

The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned. - Maya Angelou

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. - WC Fields

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home. - Rodney Dangerfield

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

We can't win at home, we can't win away. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play. - Jock Brown

Went to Disneyland because my daughter's obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her. - Ryan Reynolds

The primary purpose of a home is to reflect and to distribute the love of Christ. Anything that usurps that is idolatrous. - Ravi Zacharias

You reached into my soul and rearranged the position of my bones,
You rebuilt my rib cage so your heart could be home. - Unknown

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

Returning home is the most difficult part of long-distance hiking. You have grown outside the puzzle and your piece no longer fits. - Cindy Ross

I am a gypsy. I haven't had a home for a long time. Call me a homeless person - I just throw everything in a bag and I'm good to go. - Taylor Kinney

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon